I'm Embarrassed To Admit This…

Time to read: 53 seconds

In my new side hustle (The Vintage Concierge), a designer asked me to put together a stack of silver plate trays for a dining room. Found these! Has zero to do with today's content. :-)

A reader asked me to talk about how to develop efficient and effective working relationships between introverts and extroverts. This topic is going to take a few weeks so keep reading!

First let me say I am uniquely qualified to talk about this subject. I am an uber-extrovert married to and parenting uber-introverts. 40 years ago, when I was young and stupid, I thought introversion was a problem to fix. "Talk more!" "Get out there!" I'm embarrassed to admit my ignorance.

My ignorance is reflected in what is often called our society's "Extrovert Ideal." Meaning, the preference in our fast-paced workplaces for the quick thinking, fast and constant talking, go-go-go style of extroverts. (The best book on the power of Introverts is Susan Cain's, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking. If you are an Extrovert, get this book. You need the education. If you are an Introvert, this book will be the most validating thing you've ever read.)

Then my daughter was born, and I witnessed her silent power and magnetic personality. Kids and adults were drawn to her. When she spoke, the room listened.

In my daughter's education and then later in coaching MBA students at the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota, I saw how introverts are pushed to become something they are not (talkative). I also saw how introvert power is different from extrovert power and necessary to the success of our organizations and communities. Workplaces, schools, and families must create space for introverts to be introverts. Otherwise, we are robbing ourselves of powerful contributions.

Fun fact: Did you know that about 70% of corporate CEOs describe themselves as introverts? (Read Susan Cain's book)

Surprised? Next week, I'll talk about the benefits and detriments of Introversion. Then the following week, the benefits and detriments of Extroversion. In the fourth week, I'll share how to effectively work together.

This is a deep topic. Thank you, dear reader, for suggesting it!

What's Your Weird Little Process?

Time to read: 53 seconds

A client was berating himself for making a big decision that didn't work out like he'd hoped. As he told the story it became clear that he is the kind of person who has to experience life up close and personal before he knows what's true. He has to feel life, and sometimes blow things up to understand what he really wants.

I pointed out that his discontent wasn't a sign of failure. The decision to make a significant change was his own weird little process of prototyping life…making things happen, trying things, going to the edge to see how it feels in order to understand better what's important to him. He left our session feeling better than when he arrived because he found acceptance for his process.

What's your weird little process?

For example, I used to FREAK OUT before launching something new. Once I understood that the freak-out was just a little stop I needed to make on my way to courage, I stopped worrying that something was wrong. My clients make stops in apathy or procrastination or silence or any number of other weird little processes.

The trick is to accept and appreciate your process and drop any judgment or worry. When you can do that, life gets MUCH easier.

What's yours? Write to me and tell me all about it. I really do love hearing from you.

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