Ooops!

Time to read: 21 seconds

Hello, World!

I realized at some point last Thursday afternoon that I never sent my weekly newsletter. In the years I have been writing to you, I've missed, maybe, 5 times. Early in this journey, I would have felt terrible, like I let you down and proved I'm not reliable. Those are the olden days of my striving and performing.

And now?

I simply noted that I was full with many priorities last week and decided to use the miss as a way to model humility, imperfection, setting priorities, and taking accountability. In the grand scheme of my life and yours, I know that missing a newsletter is a small deal. Believe me, there are many more painful accountabilities than this.

So, let this week be a chance for you to remember you are human. Humans miss things and make mistakes. Hold yourself with grace, whether those moments are big or small.

Don't Be Fake

Time to read: 35 seconds

In a business like mine, I have to walk the talk. I can't teach you how to have better relationships or difficult conversations if I'm not striving for great relationships and stepping into difficult conversations. I must live what I teach.

(Darn, I guess this means I can't be an a&% at work.)

One of my roles is to create freedom. For you and for me. So, I share real stories from my life and my clients. I use photos of my dogs and charm bracelets instead of hunting for photos of random models around a conference table.

This same authenticity is the key to your happiness and power at work. To be clear, I get angry and sad. I disappoint myself sometimes. I don't bring everything into my business, and each of us gets to choose the line of appropriate privacy.

That is what it means to be an adult. You make choices about what to share and what to keep private. About what is needed from you in different contexts. And you show up authentically in all areas of your life.

There's really no other way to live. Being fake will suck you dry.

How about that as you go into your weekend? Love to you!

A Few Thoughts About Our World

Time to read: 1 minute, 10 seconds

Cute photo of our puppy

People reach out to me regularly about what I think about things happening in the world and what to do about it. It seems like everything everywhere has turned upside down all at once.

Honestly, I have days when I have a hard time keeping the faith. When I wonder if anything I teach and live matters.

Then I pull myself out of that pit of despair and remember that, of course, it matters. I matter. You matter. We all matter. It matters what you think because what you think leads to what you believe. And what you believe leads to what you do. And what you do, day in and day out, big and small, matters a lot.

Every act of violence is a choice. Every act of love is a choice. Every dehumanization of another person is a choice. Respect and kindness are choices. How you show up every day, in every situation, is a choice. You don't have to look very far to see the power of one individual to make choices that impact other people in positive and horrific ways.

So you see, you matter. A lot.

If you feel stuck, unappreciated, confused, and wonder what to do about it, let's talk. My signature group coaching program, Clarity U, starts on September 25, and there is still a spot for you.

One Clarity U graduate said, "It's better than 25 years of therapy!"

I know you get marketed to all the time, so if you're like, "not for me," ignore this email. We'll be back to our regularly scheduled missives in a week. If you're thinking, "I want things to be different, and I don't know how to get there," let's talk. Just email me , and we'll set up a time.

Clarity U starts on September 25. That's plenty of time, and it's coming fast.

P.S. If you're curious about a cohort coaching program, email me , and we'll set up a time to chat!

Summer Fun Week 6 - Freedom!

Time to read: 36 seconds

It's Week 6 and time for Tip #2.

In honor of the 4th of July holiday in the US, today's tip is about freedom.

I'm a big fan of freedom…to live according to your values and preferences, enjoy the things you enjoy, and choose what makes sense for you and your life. Freedom leads to happiness.

Freedom comes with ownership and self-management, meaning you get to make choices, and you own those choices. You own the consequences and outcomes of your choices. You own your successes and joys and the responsibility to clean up your messes.

Freedom also means tempering yourself and behaving responsibly toward others. The fact that we live in a world filled with other people who also want their freedom can be super annoying.

Today's tip for fun and joy: Consider what it means for you to be free, and to let others be free, too.

For those of you in the US, I hope your 4th of July is filled with delicious grilled food, family, friends, and fireworks.

If you know people who want to have more fun, they can join us here.

Living With Chaos: The Touchy Feely Part

Time to read: 50 seconds

Custom charm bracelets!

Welcome to week 3 of Living with Chaos. If you are enjoying this series, please share it with your people. They can join here.

If you hate the f-word (feelings), keep reading. You need this.

Chaos breeds feelings. You get a new boss, you have feelings. Your child decides not to go to college, you have feelings. Your sister gets a scary test result, you have feelings.

The first strategy for living in chaos is to feel your feelings. This doesn't mean wallow forever or yell at other people. Feeling your emotions is for you, alone, to recognize and acknowledge your reaction to the chaos and how you feel.

Feelings are like weather. They move through 24/7. Sometimes emotions are sunny and warm and sometimes they are a thunderstorm. You are responsible to move your feelings through so they don't become stuck. If you don't, they come out sideways…flipping off someone in traffic or yelling at the barista, your child, or a co-worker. Then you have a mess to deal with which adds to the chaos.

So, take ownership of your feelings. Cry on the drive home. Take an evening to journal. Talk to a friend. Stomp around your basement. Do what works for you to allow your feelings to move through. That will help quiet the chaos.

Next week, another strategy for living with chaos.

Living With Chaos: Good News! You Have No Control

Time to read: 36 seconds

It's awesome vintage!

Welcome to week 1 of Living with Chaos. I'm going to keep this multi-week series brief, to the point, and immediately useful. Your life is full (cue the chaos) so I want the return-on-investment of your time to read this newsletter to be high. Please share it with your friends and family and anyone who experiences chaos and wants to thrive. They can join here.

And now we begin.

Anyone who comes within 2 feet of me gets this lecture.

You Have No Control.

None. Nada. Nope. No Control. Is that clear?

Consider this: aging, getting sick, people you love getting sick, death, layoffs, who your children turn out to be, the weather, other people's behavior, etc etc etc. Despite your best efforts, you have zero control over these things.

This is great news! Once you really get that you have no control, you are free! The weight comes off your shoulder. You can stop trying to force outcomes or make people respond the way you want. You save so much effort and energy to use for things that are actually fun.

Next week, I'll tell you what you do have. Stay tuned.

If you love this newsletter, please share it with your colleagues. They can sign up here.

How To Live In Chaos: Control vs. Agency

Time to read: 16 seconds

Every photo will be vintage. It's pretty and fun.

You didn't hear from me this morning. I was planning and thinking and feeling about what to write when 11:00 CT came and went. Sometimes, it's hard to figure out what to say. I let it go until I knew what I wanted to say.

Clients have been telling me about chaos: changing leadership, health scares, challenges with children, corporate restructuring, and the impact of political decisions on their lives and businesses.

So, I am doing a series on chaos…How to think about it. How to live with it. How to thrive in it.

If you know anyone who is struggling in chaos…personal, professional, or political, please share it with them. They can sign up here.

We start next week.