Introverts And Extroverts….Can't We Get Along?

Time to read: 2 min, 5 seconds. It's a long one.

We’ve explored the power of introverts and extroverts. The bottom line: Introverts are tired of being told, “speak up more,”and wish for more space to think. Extroverts never want to hear, “you are too much,” and long to brainstorm with other people.

So, in organizations, how do introverts and extroverts work effectively together?

Here are three concrete recommendations:

  1. Be transparent with each other. Instead of assuming the people know what you need, tell them. It sounds like this,
    • I am an introvert. My brain needs time to process. When I’m silent, I’m paying attention and processing multiple lines of information. I need time to synthesize and then will return with a comment or recommendation. I’m not ignoring you, and I promise, I will reply—just not this second.
    • I am an extrovert which means my brain works best when I process with other people. I think out loud so sometimes the words out of my mouth are a work in progress so don’t take them as fact. Let me think out loud and socialize. Once I’ve settled on my answer, I’ll confirm my final thoughts and requests.
  2. Pay attention to other people’s needs.
    • If you notice an introvert becoming flooded, call a break or suggest the conversation continue tomorrow. If you see an extrovert getting shut down, request to let them finish talking.
    • When you lead a meeting, structure various ways to share information. For example, give people a moment to write their thoughts before sharing. Send important requests for information ahead of time so introverts can think without being put on the spot.
  3. Take responsibility for yourself.
    • Extroverts! Go into meetings and social events with a plan to listen and ask questions. Train yourself to pause 30 seconds longer than is comfortable to give other people a chance to speak. If you are talking too much, shut your mouth.
    • Introverts! Prepare your thoughts ahead of time so you are ready to share your ideas. If you are put on the spot or your brain is full, speak up. Let the group know you need a break. Then take that break and come back refreshed and ready to share.

Many of you have reached out to say how helpful this mini-series has been. If you have additional questions, please email me . I will address them next week!