The Power of Introverts

Time to read: 1.46 minutes

This is my actual fridge

Last week, I shared some context about Introverts and Extroverts, recommended Susan Cain's book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking, and shared her concept of the Extrovert Ideal.

Before I dive into detail on Introverts and Extroverts, a caveat: Each person is unique. Each person has traits from both and will show up differently in different situations. For the sake of clarity, I am generalizing.

And now…the wonderful Introvert!

Here's the thing: The power of introverts is profound. My daughter will go into her room - ALONE - and come out an hour later with a concept for an essay, which she created BY HERSELF! To this mom who needs an entire committee to vet an idea, her process feels like a miracle.

I know corporate vice presidents who sit quietly for an entire meeting and then pop out with the three most important sentences spoken all day.

Many introverts carry a quiet magic. People are drawn to them. They garner trust.

Introverts are powerful if organizations and families can give them space to work their magic.

In organizations and families, introverts get crushed. The extroverts move quickly and expect everyone to move at the same speed. (Remember the Extrovert Ideal?)

Here are some of the superpowers of introverts:

• Observant
• Synthesize a lot of information
• Thoughtful
• Considered
• Cautious

Introverts don't waste words. They need space and time to think and recharge. Many introverts process slowly and honestly as a result, come up with more considered responses than the fast-thinking extroverts. (Remember, I'm uniquely qualified to make this statement.)

Take a look at the photo above. The info about how to care for Introverts is spot on.

If you are an introvert, be transparent. Let people know you need time to think. Tell people you will process their questions and get back to them. Then, actually get back to them. When you set expectations around your needs and then deliver, you build trust and create an environment for your success.

If you are an extrovert, shut your mouth. Breathe. Pause. Stop interrupting. Let the introverts in your life finish their thoughts, even if it feels excruciating to you. (And oh my, it is so excruciating to wait…which is my problem, not the introvert's.)

Please reach out with questions, observations, or challenges. I plan to write about this for a few more weeks and would love to include your specific questions.

Next week, I'll talk about the power of Extroverts.

P.S. If you love this newsletter, please share it with your colleagues. They can sign up here.

The 6 Elements Of A Powerful Support System

Time to read: 1 minute, 45 seconds. It's a long one, based on an article I wrote for the Rancho La Puerta newsletter

It’s been a rough two years. As many of us learned the hard way, humans are not meant to be isolated. We are social creatures. We live in communities. We depend on each other for physical and emotional support. During the pandemic, our external support structures were eliminated or reduced – religious organizations, school, workplaces, yoga studios, the list goes on. We got creative. We prioritized our relationships and decided who was worth another hour on Zoom.

The world is opening, and we are seeing each other again. Now is a great time to think about consciously crafting your support system.

I think of support systems in 6 categories. You’ll access each kind of support for different things and look to different people to provide them. Sometimes you'll pay for expertise and other times, you'll get help from friends, yourself, or even strangers.

Here are the 6 Elements of a Powerful Support System:

1. Physical: You need people to help you carry boxes, cut your hair, and renovate a bathroom. You need physical support in the hospital or from your massage therapist. Some physical support will be intimate (a home-health nurse), and some will be casual (the technician who fixes your dishwasher). You can hire it (like movers) or receive it (like the person who holds the door when your arms are full of groceries).
2. Advice: Sometimes you need an expert to tell you what to do - like an accountant for your taxes, an attorney for your estate plan, or a mentor to help you navigate company politics. Other times, you need friends to tell you how to handle a delicate social situation or a colleague to brainstorm a conversation with your VP.
3. Emotional: When you're crying or you want to scream, you need people who will hold space for your feelings. The best emotional support never judges, doesn't give advice or solutions, and makes room for your messy humanness. You can hire emotional support like a therapist or coach or get it for free from family and friends.
4. Deep personal support is best in the form of therapy or a coach. It's the kind of support that gets under your patterns, helps you heal old wounds and points you toward the truth in your choices. Sometimes deep support feels nurturing, other times it is uncomfortable. When done well, it leads to lasting freedom and peace.
5. Spiritual: Spiritual support gives you answers to big questions, like meaning of life kind of stuff. It comes in seen forms like religious organizations, nature, therapists, coaches, and spiritual advisors. It also comes in forms you can't see like God, soul, angels, and spirit guides. A beautiful sunrise on a hike at The Ranch is spiritual support.
6. Self: You are one of your best supports. You create structures and routines to care for your body and mind like sleep, nutrition, and exercise. You provide your own emotional support by having compassion for yourself through all of life's ups and downs. You take responsibility for your choices and care for yourself when things get hard.

Do you notice gaps in your support structure? Yay! Go fill them. Is your support structure strong and balanced? Yay! You're ready to ride life's waves.

One parting thought: You are a support structure for others,

If you are one of the many people who forward these emails to your friends and colleagues, please make sure they know they can sign up for this newsletter here.

Have a great weekend!