Don't Be Fake

Time to read: 35 seconds

In a business like mine, I have to walk the talk. I can't teach you how to have better relationships or difficult conversations if I'm not striving for great relationships and stepping into difficult conversations. I must live what I teach.

(Darn, I guess this means I can't be an a&% at work.)

One of my roles is to create freedom. For you and for me. So, I share real stories from my life and my clients. I use photos of my dogs and charm bracelets instead of hunting for photos of random models around a conference table.

This same authenticity is the key to your happiness and power at work. To be clear, I get angry and sad. I disappoint myself sometimes. I don't bring everything into my business, and each of us gets to choose the line of appropriate privacy.

That is what it means to be an adult. You make choices about what to share and what to keep private. About what is needed from you in different contexts. And you show up authentically in all areas of your life.

There's really no other way to live. Being fake will suck you dry.

How about that as you go into your weekend? Love to you!

My Opinion About Your #1 Priority. :-)

Time to read: 35 seconds

More custom charm bracelets for my daughter's scientific friends

Last week, I said I do humans. Humans are the center of my personal and professional life.

Remember? Humans are my favorite!

I’m rather old-fashioned about humans. I think humans need each other…live and in person.

We are a communal species. That doesn’t mean you have to live with other people or even like all other people, although it helps if you like a few other people. And, it makes things much easier and fulfilling to have other humans to share life with.

Good relationships create opportunities. Good relationships provide support. And entertainment. Wonky ones get in the way. My private clients know I always recommend prioritizing relationships at work.

• Pay attention to the personal aspects of people’s lives.
• Look for ways to help.
• Write HAND-WRITTEN thank you notes.
• Be generous with compliments.
• Be generous in general.

In case you need repetition for a message to sink in, relationships are crucial. So crucial, they are your #1 priority, today and always.

What Do I Actually Do?

Time to read: 24.6 seconds

Made this charm bracelet for my daughter's friend who loves Saturn

It's Thursday again!

When people ask me what I do, the obvious answer is, “I’m a coach.” Then, because the memes online about coaches are copious and hilarious, I clarify, “Not a life coach. I’m an Executive Coach,” as if that title makes one bit of difference.

The less obvious and more accurate answer is, “I do humans.” I work in many technical organizations filled with engineers, scientists, and financial analysts. My job is to help people build relationships, manage conflict, engage in difficult conversations, and design the way they want to work together. (In a week or two, I'll tell you my main motivation for doing what I do every day.)

I’m the how and why. Other people tend to the what.

Here at the Corporate Rebel, relationships are #1. I’m super social, and people are my favorite. That’s why, when you reply to one of these emails, you will get a real response. No auto responders, no assistant or proxy answering emails.

That’s how I like it.

I'm Embarrassed To Admit This…

Time to read: 53 seconds

In my new side hustle (The Vintage Concierge), a designer asked me to put together a stack of silver plate trays for a dining room. Found these! Has zero to do with today's content. :-)

A reader asked me to talk about how to develop efficient and effective working relationships between introverts and extroverts. This topic is going to take a few weeks so keep reading!

First let me say I am uniquely qualified to talk about this subject. I am an uber-extrovert married to and parenting uber-introverts. 40 years ago, when I was young and stupid, I thought introversion was a problem to fix. "Talk more!" "Get out there!" I'm embarrassed to admit my ignorance.

My ignorance is reflected in what is often called our society's "Extrovert Ideal." Meaning, the preference in our fast-paced workplaces for the quick thinking, fast and constant talking, go-go-go style of extroverts. (The best book on the power of Introverts is Susan Cain's, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking. If you are an Extrovert, get this book. You need the education. If you are an Introvert, this book will be the most validating thing you've ever read.)

Then my daughter was born, and I witnessed her silent power and magnetic personality. Kids and adults were drawn to her. When she spoke, the room listened.

In my daughter's education and then later in coaching MBA students at the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota, I saw how introverts are pushed to become something they are not (talkative). I also saw how introvert power is different from extrovert power and necessary to the success of our organizations and communities. Workplaces, schools, and families must create space for introverts to be introverts. Otherwise, we are robbing ourselves of powerful contributions.

Fun fact: Did you know that about 70% of corporate CEOs describe themselves as introverts? (Read Susan Cain's book)

Surprised? Next week, I'll talk about the benefits and detriments of Introversion. Then the following week, the benefits and detriments of Extroversion. In the fourth week, I'll share how to effectively work together.

This is a deep topic. Thank you, dear reader, for suggesting it!