Do This. It Makes Everything Better.

Time to read: 15 seconds

My daughter recently told me that I have no "chill." I prefer to think of myself as energetic and productive. And, she has a point.

Where are you on the scale of chill to energetic?

Regardless of where you are on the scale, I have something for you to try, something highly scientific and skilled that will take weeks to master.

Ready?

Here it is.

Lie down.

That's it. Simply lie down. The couch is a pretty good place although I can also recommend the floor. Rather wonderful things happen including rest, meditation, reading, dog love, and a cat on your stomach. Oh, and you become more productive when you take a break, Who knew?!

I feel like I've discovered something under-rated among the type-As and kept highly secret among those of you with "chill." Your secret is out, and it's marvelous.

Be well. Now you know what to do with your weekend. Have fun!

The Power of Changing Your Focus

Time to read: 56 seconds

Change Your Focus

I spent last week working at a spa in Mexico called Rancho La Puerta. (If you've been to The Ranch, email me!) I love teaching coaching classes, hiking, eating vegetables, sleeping, hip-hop dancing and doing sound healing.

I arrived depleted. Exhausted. Anxious. (Can you relate?)

I left hopeful. Calm. Renewed. (You can have this, too without crossing a border or buying anything.)

How can you duplicate this transformation from the comfort of your couch and neighborhood?

Here's what you do: Change what you pay attention to. Decide what you want to make real in your life. What do you talk about? What do you notice? What do you think about? What do you do with your time?

If the answer to those questions is worry, read news, and check items off your to-do list…well…how do those things affect your inner landscape? For many of you, those things equal stress.

Changing your focus is easy:

• talk about something you love
• spend time in an interesting conversation
• take your headphones out and listen to the birds on your dog walk
• cook tasty food
• call an old friend
• find what's right in the people and situations in your life rather than what's wrong

You have more power than you realize to determine your daily experiences. Tune your awareness and suddenly, you'll see that a beautiful reality exists alongside the ugly one. The beautiful reality is just as real (and maybe more real) than the stressed-out one.

Be well and have a good weekend.

How to Connect to What's Most Important to You

Time to read: 47.5 seconds.

Get Out of the Box! (Get it?)

If the past two years have taught us anything, it's that life is too short to be stuck. The world is a wild and wonderful place. You spend a lot of time at work. (I was going to say "at the office," but we all know how that's gone). You crave impact. You crave meaning. You have one amazing life to live. With a solid toolbox, you can make every minute at work and home count.

If you're feeling stuck or wishing you had more impact or you just feel a little lost in it all and want to find your way back, let's talk. The Clarity U group coaching program starts at the end of October, and we're inviting the Clarity U class of 2022 to join us. Maybe that's you!

Here are a few of the things that have happened for graduates of Clarity U:

• new jobs
• becoming happy at old jobs
• sudden connections to famous people
• retirement
• new relationships
• promotions
• career changes
• new babies

All of these outward accomplishments are a direct reflection of the inner shifts that happen in Clarity U. Our graduates express it better than I do:

"In Clarity U, I discovered what I like about me, and I am creating a life as unique as I am." - PW

"I use my Clarity U tools on a daily basis. The work was more valuable to me than a lifetime of therapy. I only wish I had done it 20 years ago. I am deeply grateful for the gifts that Christina and Anne shared with me. They are insightful and honest and two of the warmest and most encouraging people I have ever had the honor to know." - EG

Choose a time here for a 30-minute chat about what's going on, what's important to you, and whether Clarity U is the next step on your way bigger and better things in work and life. I can't wait to connect!

Wanna Remember Life?

Time to read: 55 seconds

Me, realizing something I'd forgotten

I had a realization today.

I'm sick and tired of being steeped in fear.

Fear of Covid, fear of our nation collapsing, fill in the blank on all the many things there are to fear these days. I'm tired of being awakened in the middle of the night by anxiety. I'm tired of the endless news cycle. I realized I was waiting for something, anything to come along and make it all ok.

Then I realized, whether I drown in fear or embrace life is my choice, and I want to live!

I teach that changing the circumstances of your life and career are not going to fix it. You have to look deeper. And here I was, expecting that a resolution to the debt ceiling or the eradication of Covid would make things all better.

That's not where it comes from. Nothing out there is going to make it all better. It comes from in here.

You have a choice.

When you look around your life, have you been battered by fear? Have you been waiting for that thing that will fix it? Have you been thinking that quitting your job or moving will fix it? Do you look around and see that you love your life or that the elements are there learn to love your life?

Surviving and getting by are not enough.

You are charged with the radical notion that you get to live. Be happy. Be fulfilled. Be powerful. Have impact. Have fun.

So, if you are ready to accept that the most important thing you can do right now is learn how to live, in all the messy, wonderful, challenging, beautiful, radical things that means, then I'd love to talk.

I opened a bunch of times on my personal calendar for you. Choose a time here. We'll talk about you, help you get connected to the big picture of what's important to you, and talk about whether or not Clarity U group coaching program is a good next step.

In the words of two participants from the Clarity U class of 2021:

"Before the program, I was down on myself and running a hectic life. I now feel energized knowing I have special gifts to offer to myself and others." —Training Advisor and Creative Entrepreneur

"Clarity U helped me remember who I am at my core. As a result, I made a career change after 25 years. This would not have been possible without Clarity U". — Director of Qualified Plans and Nurturer of Curiosity

Feeling tingly? Nervous? Ready to remember who you are at your core? Let's talk.

Feeling All August-y?

Time to read: 45 seconds. It's August.

A client asked this week, "what's the deal with August?" She is having difficulty finding solid ground and if she's honest, she wants to sit on a porch and read a book. I'm hearing similar things from many clients this week.

So, what's the deal with August?

After 10 years of working with clients, here are my observations about August:

1. You're in-between which is disconcerting. It's no longer summer, and it's not yet fall. It's hard to know how to be. (If you're curious, check out the concept of liminal space.)
2. The engine is revving and you're not ready to drive off yet. You feel like you'll be ready to go soon. But not yet.
3. The air is filled with anticipation. Back to school. Back to the office? (who knows about that one anymore)
4. Fall is around the corner and there's a lot of uncertainty. Will your 3rd grader like her teacher? Will projects at the office increase? Will your family's schedule take off like a rocket? Will your senior get into college?
5. Add the Delta variant, international and national politics, and ugliness in the news and you have a recipe for stalling.

The good news is that the solution is simple.

Wait.

August will turn into September which becomes October. I don't get to guarantee much in my line of work, and I can guarantee this. When September rolls around, you'll be ready to go.

Happens every year.

Happy August.

Something Beautiful and Thought-Provoking

Time to read: 1.5 minutes

I belong to a writing group and last month one of my friends, Patty Walbillig, wrote something so beautiful I asked her if I could share it with all of you. The world can be a hard place sometimes and her piece was full of hope and love. Enjoy!

July 13, 2021

Already, Rose and Margie have arrived and departed. A whirl wind of activity in the last two weeks and so much fun: days at the cabin, a trip to Brainerd, a birthday party at Heather’s house, and Teddy Bear Park. All the effort was rewarded, and all the worry was for nothing. I can’t, God can, I’ll let him (Al-Anon).

With great gobs of gratitude, I reflect not on single events but on the overall existence of my immediate and extended family. The unique and extraordinary personalities and intellect of those who I claim as my people. And then I consider a world full of such people and such connections.

At which point I begin to ponder why? Why are we in this place and why have we connected? What creates those connections beyond the biology of reproduction?

When I ponder, with no science behind my thoughts, I think that there must be an order to the way we come together. I don’t love my people with so much of my heart only because we are related closely, distantly, or indirectly. I think some of us have existed closely connecting spiritually for many lives. Our time together cannot be as brief as one lifetime.

At this moment, I raise up my eyes from my page and bring into focus: lush green trees and pale blue sky, I hear the singing birds, and feel a cool dry breeze, and observe volumes of traffic stacking up. The lovely gifts we receive, the urgency of life needed to exist, a complex bio that maybe surpasses the original plan.

I think we humans, far from messing up, have done amazingly well to exist at all. Despite all the landmines that continue to appear – out of nowhere – things we could not imagine. Despite all the worry, that happens in the darkest of night, in the darkest rooms, in the darkest corners of our minds, the real day dawns, no matter what. No matter our fears, real or imagined, no matter what took place in those dark corners, the real day dawns. Trees grow and birds sing. The car starts and the construction begins. It’s all simply amazing, and I continue to just ponder why.

#1 Mistake When Making a Change

Time to read: 47 seconds.

There’s a lot of movement these days. Clients getting promoted. People changing companies. Relocations. New jobs. New apartments. When you make a change, you move from one thing to another (duh).

In change, I see people make the same mistake over and over.

You move on too quickly.

In your haste and excitement to get to The New Thing, you forget to close The Old Thing.

The consequences are The Old Thing becomes sticky. It follows you. It clogs your energy. Think of people you hear still complaining about a job, apartment, or relationship they left years ago. Think of a job or relationship that you can’t seem to shake. That’s what sticky looks like.

Leave The Old Thing behind by doing these two simple things:

• Don’t leave before you’re gone. You mentally leave before you are actually gone. Stay present until you actually leave so you can enjoy your final days or feel your sad feelings.
• End well. Say good-bye to the people. Walk around the empty apartment. Share memories. Write notes. Say farewell to your cube. Mark the end with a short ritual or acknowledgement. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Do be conscious that “this moment is the end.”

When you allow yourself a good ending, you become more open and ready for the new beginning.

Enjoy your New Thing! (And write to tell me all about it. I love your stories.)