Time to read: Less than 30 seconds
Be More. Do Less.
If this one is mysterious to you, reach out. This is a personal favorite.
Two Words to Live By
Celebrate First!
This is the first installment of the short, "respect your energy, share my personal toolbox" blog post.
Those two words are it for this week. Enjoy reflecting on them and reach out if you'd like to discuss.
I Was Surprised to Realize What's Important Right Now
Time to read: 10 seconds.
2020. What a year.
Last week I was talking to a well-known psychologist in the world of parenting. He writes for major publications and blogs regularly. He told me he's not writing these days because he doesn't know what to say. I could relate.
It's been hard to write this newsletter. I've felt like to be worth your 45 seconds, I have to have answers for you or say something profound that will make this situation better. When I've watched 15 seasons of the Bachelor and am doing my best to bake away as much of this experience as possible, I've been struggling with how to make a difference for you.
And, even though the psychologist doesn't know how to help parents with online school, our conversation made me feel 100% better.
It dawned on me... What's important right now is process, not answers. It's helping you find your next step, even when the path is heading into a big unknown. You can navigate this moment well - with intention, kindness toward yourself and others, and clarity about what's important to you. You can bide your time in process, learn a lot about yourself, and figure out how to contribute from here until it's time to be out in the world in a bigger way.
If you got what you needed from this newsletter, stop reading. For the next few sentences, I'm going to invite you to join me for a powerful process that will set you up to let 2020 go and plan for a powerful 2021.
I'm excited for Goodbye 2020, Hell Yes! 2021. You, I and a group of your colleagues will spend 3 sessions uncovering what 2020 has been about for you and using 2020 as a springboard to your next step. This moment is too important to leave to chance. Join me to build a plan for moving forward.
Anyone can join. You can find more info and the registration here.
The early bird price goes through December 11, and the first session is December 17. If you have questions or want to know more before joining, email me.
Doing this process will make all the difference in 2021.
Can't wait to connect with you!
Christina
A Lesson In Uncertainty: 4 Principles to Live By
Time to read: 45 seconds
Election Judge! Election Queen!
In the wake of Tuesday's election, no matter who you support, we all continue to live in uncertainty. Coronavirus has left us in uncertainty. The economic down turn stokes uncertainty. I met with a corporate group today, and even in our daily lives, things like management changes and college applications leave us in uncertainty.
People tell me they're done with uncertainty. Exhausted. Over it. And it seems like 2020 is determined to hammer home the lesson of learning to live, love and thrive in the face of uncertainty.
Here are four principles to help you live and thrive in uncertainty today and forever:
- Accept. Suffering comes from resisting your circumstances, not from the circumstances themselves. So, even in the face of outcomes you don't like, the first step is accept them. (Not the same thing as complacency or disengagement).
- Honor your emotions. Feel whatever you feel - joy, grief, sadness, inspiration, anxiety, anger. When you experience your emotions for yourself, they will not leak out in your relationships.
- Build your foundation. You choose your foundation based on your integrity, values, and ways of being. No candidate, job, promotion, raise, child, or even the resolution to the pandemic will provide your foundation. You are the thing you've been looking for.
- Put uncertainty into a bigger context - perhaps the context of history or spirituality or human evolution. Looking at a 30,000 foot level opens new possibilities and allows you to see what's happening now in a larger frame.
That's what I've got today at a challenging point in our history as a nation.
I hope this helps. Reach out anytime. I always love to hear from you.
Be well.
Christina
What To Do In a Tense Election?
Time to Read: Less than 1 minute.
The tool that is bringing me the most peace during this election. See why below.
Alert: If you're sick of the campaign, this email is not about politics but rather about powerful and aligned process intended to help you find peace during this election. Enjoy!
This election is hanging over life like a dark cloud. The division, the chaos, the misinformation….I hear from a lot of people that they wake up at night, fear the near future, and find that relationships with close family and friends, sometimes even spouses, are suffering across differences of opinion.
Can you relate?
Hearing these stories breaks my heart and for many months this summer and into early fall, I was at a loss about what to do. Of course, my work as a coach makes a difference and the way I raise my children matters. And as the election crept closer, I felt pulled to get involved. But how?
In 2018, I tried phone-banking. I HATED it. I was so angry at the process and the waste of my time that the poor young organizers doing the debrief were glad to see me go after all the "feedback" I offered. It wasn't pretty.
This year, one of my friends, who is like the angel on my shoulder, whispered over tea on my front steps, "try this" and introduced me to my new political home: deep canvassing.
Traditional political conversations involve facts and badgering and trying to convince others of your opinion. To me that process always feels intrusive, disrespectful, unwelcome, and disconnected. People feel used. I have felt used. (Insert feedback to young debriefer here.) As a result, we avoid uncomfortable conversations and feel progressively more distant, even from those we love most.
Deep canvassing involves everything that I know makes a difference in people's work and lives. The process requires you to:
- dig deep and be vulnerable
- manage your instinct to convince
- be curious and open
- listen
- connect
Deep canvassing starts from the premise that people matter. That their life experiences matter. That as the caller, you matter. And the belief that it is possible to reach across the divide to find that we have more in common than we think and to start to heal our nation.
(If you want to learn more about deep canvassing, here is an article from Rolling Stone and one from The Atlantic. There is also a fantastic podcast called "To See Each Other." In the first episode, you hear how a woman transformed from alienating her loved ones to healing her closest relationships.)
No matter who wins this election, the US needs healing to restore our union. In my humble opinion, the only way to do that is to listen to one another, bring empathy and curiosity, and become vulnerable for the sake of connection.
This email isn't about getting you on the phones for the last push of this election (although if you want to do that, you can sign up here.) It's about looking for the conversations you've been avoiding with family and friends. For the people you've stopped calling or who have stopped calling you. And to find a way to reach out to them. When you re-establish those connections in your personal life, they become part of the greater healing we so desperately need.
Deep canvassing gives me hope. It is helping me and many others get through this election cycle and anticipate the future with optimism.
I hope this is helpful. Please hit reply to this email and share what you think. I always love to hear from you.
Be well.
Christina
It's About Building Your Capacity: Anna's Story
Time to read Anna's story: 1 minute, 36 seconds
It's a great day to be a Corporate Rebel!
Meet Anna.
Anna's CIO tapped her for a big project. Leadership trusts her. The project is strategic level work, will have huge impact and stands to make a big difference to her company. It's a plum opportunity and will set her career well into the future. Anna's excited.
And scared. As she put it, "It's lots of opportunity and lots of pressure." When Anna and I talked, she said, stress wakes her up at night, causes her to second-guess her every move, diminishes her focus, and makes her short-tempered. "Daunting" and "freaking out" describe how she feels.
Anna was relieved when I explained what was going on. She has the skills and experience. This is the perfect next step for her. And in order to keep up with the next step in her career, it's time for her to build her capacity. She joined Clarity U as investment in her capacity - her ability to trust herself, show up as a powerful leader, make efficient decisions, and streamline her personal efficiency and effectiveness so she feels confident in her new role. Her main goal? Knock this opportunity out of the park.
Here's what happens in a forward moving career:
You are given opportunities (or you seek opportunities) then you have to grow your capacity in order to succeed. Once your capacity grows, new opportunities arise. It's a toggle back and forth onward and forever. The problem is, capacity-building gets left off the table which results in over-working, stress, second-guessing, fear of failure, and control - behaviors which will either ensure your failure or leave you burned out and exhausted from striving to prove yourself.
Clarity U invites you to get off the hamster wheel of proving yourself and instead, build the internal beliefs and qualities that enable you to make powerful choices toward the career and life you want. Increased capacity = more opportunity.
Do you feel like you need one more certification to get to that next level? Do you sense a gap between where you are and where you want to be? I invite you to consider Clarity U. Let's talk ASAP. The door closes on October 21 at 12:00 CT (the time of our first session).
I have cleared time on October 19 and 20. Please choose a 30-minute spot on my personal calendar here. If none of these times work for you, please email me, and we'll find a time. If your intrigued, I want you get the information you need in order to take your next powerful step - whether that's Clarity U. Or not.
The cohort is filled with people like Anna who have declared themselves ready to create their future. Ready to join them?
I look forward to connecting. Choose a time here.
(And I know Clarity U is not for everyone. If you're, like, let's get back to the regular newsletters, We will. We're back to regular Corporate Rebel programming on October 22.)
I can't wait to connect.
Christina
One Practical Tool to Help You Thrive
Time to read: 56 seconds
Time to schedule on my calendar: 30 seconds
Actual time to chat: 30 minutes (You can choose a time to talk here).
Hello Rebels,
A few weeks ago, I took a three-day personal and professional retreat (more about that another week). I hit the wall with the pandemic, the politics, the homeschooling and needed a break. Controlling, pushing, and striving my way through this moment in history was not effective for me, my family, nor my work. I needed quiet time to reflect and create a smoother path forward into the chaos.
Out of this reflection and creation came a Survival Journal. I want to share a few of the elements with you and invite you to create your own Survival Journal so you have a consistent and solid place to go when you feel uncertain, afraid, and worried. Here are some tips:
- Don't over engineer it. You don't have to have the perfect notebook or a set of sparkly colored pens (unless those things are fun for you). Just grab whatever you have lying around (like a half used composition notebook abandoned by one of your kids, not that I know anything about that).
- Consider at 10,000 feet what brings you comfort and reassurance when things feel hard. Make your journal about those things.
- Be free and open with the content. There is no right way to create a Survival Journal. Add things that are meaningful to you. Mine includes:
- activities for this winter
- TV shows to watch
- powerful thoughts and quotes from my mentors and teachers
- questions to ponder when I feel stuck
- short descriptions of when I've seen magic at work in my life
- reminders of physical practices that keep my nervous system calm
- Let it grow over time. My journal is living and breathing. I add thoughts and elements frequently.
- Make it your own. I can see verses from meaningful religious texts, drawings, photographs, pet stories, recipes, humor. When you create your journal, please hit reply and share your ideas with me. I have pages for more and would love your inspiration.
There is lots going on. I hope you find this strategy provides you a safe haven in the storm.
And of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Clarity U. Starting October 21, a powerful group will be cleaning out the mental junk in order to clear the path to the future. The goal: for you to be clear so can put work and life on your terms, even during these challenging times. If you've been curious and perhaps not sure if Clarity U is for you, let's talk. Choose a 30-minute spot on my personal calendar. Spots fill fast.
In the words of a participant from last year:
"Working with Clarity U gave me insights and tools that I use daily. This work has been more valuable than a lifetime of therapy. (And a lot more fun.) I wish I had done it 20 years ago. Christina and Anne are insightful and honest and two of the warmest and most encouraging people I have ever had the honor to know." - E.G.
People are scheduling faster than I can add spots to the calendar. We have extended the early bird price through October 13 (next Tuesday). If you don't find a time on my calendar by October 13, go ahead and schedule later. If you've chosen your time before October 13, we'll still give you the early bird price. Confused? Email me.
I look forward to connecting. Choose a time here.
I can't wait to talk.
Christina