Do you work for a boss or a leader?

A micro newsletter! Testers register than one minute to read.

Leadership lessons at the lobby coffee pot

Last week, I was in San Diego for strategy meetings with my business mastermind (i.e. my coach and business peeps). Being from Minnesota, I was awake every morning at 5:00 while my CA roomies were still asnooze in their beds. Luckily, the hotel served tea very, very early so I found my way to the lobby each morning to grab some caffeine and catch up on email.

At the coffee pot, I met a hotel employee, Luis. One morning, I commented to Luis that he seemed to really enjoy his job. This is what he said, "I love working here. We don't have bosses. We have leaders. They don't just sit in their offices and order us around. They come out here to help us."

Luis got me thinking about you. We've established in the past two weeks that you are a leader regardless of your role. Many of you are also bosses. If you are a great leader, you will also be a great boss. We've all had great bosses. (If you haven't, call me now!)

It doesn't work the other way around. We've all known or worked for sucky bosses who weren't leaders (that NEVER happened to me in my corporate days).

Luis pointed out important differences between the two so you can see where you (and your boss) are behaving as leaders or, ugh, as bossy-pants:

1. Bosses sit in their corner offices and tell people what to do. Leaders inspire the team.
2. Bosses have positional power and use it. Leaders have power by virtue of respect, trust, and affection.
3. Bosses micromanage and want everything done "right." Leaders delegate and play to people's strengths.
4. Bosses take credit. Leaders give credit and praise generously and often.
5. Bosses stand in the limelight. Leaders fade so that other people can have success and attention for their accomplishments.

Think of leaders you've loved and bosses you've hated. What can you learn about your own leadership (or bossy-ness) from them?

Lead on!

Christina

Mermaids and leadership. Two great things that go great together!

It's a short one this week! 1 minute, tops!

A real life mermaid leader

Did you know there are professional mermaids? It's true. There are people who make a living being a mermaid. For reals.

Mermaids are leaders. They take responsibility for their worlds.(Recognize the theme from past couple of weeks?) It matters that they show up with their scaly tails on time and sit still in a pool for 2 hours delighting mesmerized children. They take responsibility for the joy they put into the world. They are leaders.

So, let's remember the core of the past two rebelicious newsletters:

Leaders take responsibility for their worlds.

It doesn't matter if you are a CEO, a stay-at-home mom, a manager, an administrative assistant. a student, or your mail carrier.

Leadership is not defined by your position, test. Leadership is defined by your perspective. It matters that you show up, do your best, and take responsibility for yourself and your world.

Let's look at a few examples:

Leaders decide what kind of energy they want to put into traffic.You have a choice to flip the bird to the person who just cut you off or to assume they are doing the best they can and smile in solidarity knowing that tomorrow, it could be you.

• Leaders clean up the messes they create and admit when they are wrong.
• Leaders treat cashiers, servers, and janitors kindly.
• Leaders know that they are not responsible for everything and everyone.
• Leaders build relationships and consider other people's needs. You have opportunities to lead every time you go to the grocery store, in every meeting, on every team you serve, and in every class you take.

What will you do this week to take responsibility for your world?

Lead on!

Christina

Stressed out at the idea of "taking responsibility?" Read this.

Estimated read time: 2 minutes

A real response from a bonafide reader!

It's been exciting this week to receive your responses to last week's question: What does "leaders take responsibility for their world" mean to you? (Look for YOUR response below).

You responded with many amazing and beautiful ways you take responsibility for the food we eat, your families, your work, the safety of our beauty products, and generating love and peace. It's humbling to see all the ways the group that receives this rebelicious newsletter is having an impact. I'm honored to be among you.

You work in IT, the finance industry, healthcare, regulatory affairs, coaching, and education (to name a few of your worlds). You have families, parents, pets, homes and communities. Each of you is taking responsibility in ways large and small "in the spirit of making a better universe" (and I quote one your brilliant comments).

Today is about the "responsibility" of leadership.

One of my clients was struggling (fretting would be a more accurate word) with the "responsibility" part of his leadership. He tends toward "over-responsibility" and "responsible for everything" which left him feeling pretty daunted by "Leaders take responsibility for their world."

I wouldn't be the corporate rebel coach if I didn't give you strategies and ways to process this for yourself. Here's what my client and I created together in our session in case you worry about over-giving, too (shared with his permission, of course).

1. Let go of the illusion that you can control everything. A need to control leads to over-giving, over responsibility, and burn out. Burn out ain't good for anyone's world.
2. Be responsible for the talents you've been given. As you saw in the list above, this amazing group has a wide-variety of talents. Do YOUR work. And let other people do their work (this is the part where you get to let go - guilt free - of many, many things).
3. Discern what's yours and choose where you put your time and energy. Trust that you are doing enough, that you are having an impact, and what you do every day matters.
4. Think about how to expand your "world" without succumbing to #1 or #2.

Pat yourself on the back. You're doing great things in your world. You really are.

Christina

The shortest newsletter on the planet

Time to read: 20 short seconds

My tween rocking her leadership!

Today, I have one question for you. Below is a definition of leadership that I use in my own life and with my clients.

Leaders take responsibility for their worlds.

It's both simple and profound. What is your world and what does it mean to take responsibility for it?

We'll dive into leadership more next week.

Ponder away!

Christina

Do you choose work? Or life? Or both? Ack!

It's short. One minute tops!

My daughter, choosing NOT have her energy sucked by a photograph.

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to the Boyd-Smiths, real or imagined, is purely fictional.

Imagine this morning: You were up in the middle of the night with a sick child. A text awaited from a dear friend wanting to chat about something. You are preparing a presentation. Even this morning, you might be recreating something because you had a better idea (like, for example, this newsletter) while your kids are getting ready for school and the dog is whining for her breakfast.

Ack! Work/Life Balance!

Can you relate?

Here's the thing, sometimes managing work/life balance is a minute-to-minute affair.

There is so much more to say on this subject and for today, think about how you choose to use your precious time and energy in each minute. Here are some examples to get you started:

A sick child. Yes seems like a good choice. You can motor through the next day a little tired. Not ideal but workable.

For those of you who know me personally, you know that I would love to do nothing more than yack with a friend. In fact, it's my favorite hobby (and honestly, avoidance tactic). To stay focused, sometimes you have to counter-offer with support that will take less time. And tell your friend how much you love her and be transparent about what's going on.

Create a new newsletter? This choice is a toss-up. Depends on your priorities, timing, and what else is going on. In this case, I can ignore that my son is eating Cheetos for breakfast and watching YouTube. The commitment to get quality content to you each Thursday, is non-negotiable.

Get dressed? Later. No one cares if you drop off at carpool in your PJs.

This, my friends, is what wild, weird, dynamic and real life balance looks like. Really and truly.

And now, I must return to preparing next week's presentation. Besides client sessions, YOU are my #1 focus today.

I hope this helps.

Christina

The only trick you need to do something hard

Estimated read time: between 1 and 2 minutes

Ahhh…corporate glory days. (Crazy hat day courtesy of the wonderful Michele Chin-Purcell.)

My clients are starting new jobs and expanding their opportunities and having brave conversations and doing things that are new to them. Some stuff feels hard for them, too. (And they're excited and moving forward and getting what they want).

That's why I'm writing this to you. I said there was one thing that will help you do hard things and as I'm writing, I realize there's a BONUS thing. (2 lessons for the price of one! Yay!)

Here's the one thing:

And it's funny because the lesson is this: do one thing. That's it. I learned this from my husband at 3:00 am after I'd been worrying about producing an Excel spreadsheet for a team of VPs in my new corporate job and OMG, I've never seen Excel before in my life! "All you have to do is go into the office tomorrow and do one thing." He said those words either because they are wise or because he thought they were his best chance of getting any sleep.

All you have to do is one thing. Then the next thing. Then the next until, amazingly, you've done all the things.

Here's the BONUS thing:

Hold onto why you are doing the hard thing. I'm producing a webinar because I care deeply about making sure that your freedom is never negotiable. You told me you:

• feel stuck
• want to get out of your own way
• lack opportunities
• want work/life balance
• are exhausted
• are worried that time is slipping by

I am delighted to keep testing the systems and producing content because I know the process I'm teaching next Wednesday will help you find the peace, balance, and opportunities you crave.

Christina

My ugly story and what you can learn from it

Estimated read time: An entertaining and real 1.75 minutes.

Photo of my brain on fear, courtesy of Anne Lippin.

I hired a coach this year to stretch me in my business. In our first meeting, she did exactly what I asked her to do. She stretched me. How did I respond?

I freaked out.

This wasn’t just a little bitty, genteel lady freak out, either. It was like my vital organs were going to fall out of my body. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t work. I was thinking about giving up the whole coaching gig for a job at Whole Foods.

I was in a bad way and even as I laid on my couch crying to my friends, I was thinking of you and hoping to glean some redeeming value from my misery. Here's the value:

When you stretch yourself – you go for the big promotion, you take on the leadership role, you say the risky thing in a meeting, you hire a coach – you are going to feel afraid. If you’re not afraid, you’re not stretching.

I imagine you’re thinking, “Great. You’re telling me I have to feel like my insides are going to fall out?”

Yup. That’s exactly right. If you want to go big, you will be afraid sometimes and fear shows up in your body before your head can catch up. That’s a fact. The good news is there is a lot you can do about it.

Here are my hot tips, hard won from the couch:

1. Having periods of doubt and fear are part of the journey. A vital part of the journey. Through them you learn valuable things about yourself, develop more capacity, and know what it's like later to feel great!
2. Recognize your process. When faced with fear, some of my clients get overly analytical, apathetic, or avoidant. Recognize if panic (my favorite!) is a place you stop on your way to clarity and action. When your process is familiar, you can celebrate the freak out and know it’s an important stepping stone to your success.
3. Remember that you will not be stuck here forever. As your self awareness grows, you’ll be stuck in fear less often and for shorter periods of time.
4. Have your self care plan ready to go at all times. Mine involves a book, the couch, and my dog. Oh, and calling a bunch of friends. And meditating. And crying.

It’s not about preventing the freak out which is a good thing as that's impossible. It’s about recovering from it. Fear is a sign of growth. What you need is awareness, a self-care strategy, and you're ready to go.

Be afraid and keep going!

Christina

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