This week two of my clients requested on-the-spot sessions because they needed to make major decisions and wanted to get clear. All of them had spent the weekend thinking, worrying and wondering what to do.
It’s a good thing they have a coach on speed-dial because in 20 minutes, they walked away confident, clear, and certain about their next steps. (Full disclosure: one client loved this process, the other thought I was insane until it worked.)
What’s the secret to clear decisions, you ask?
Here it is. The secret revealed in 3 steps.
Step 1: Lower your energy center.
When you’re stressed about a decision your head spins with thoughts. Our heads serve us well and provide great insight. And sometimes our heads spin out of control and need help from different ways to access information and wisdom.
Do this:
Stand firmly planted on the ground (even better if you’re barefoot in grass). Breathe deeply and visualize your energy shifting from your head to your abdomen. Do this until you feel heavier and lower.
This will ground you, calm your energy and help you tap into your intuition. From here, you will access new information to help with your decision.
Step 2: Clear out the gunk
Decisions get clogged with gunk – what other people think, who will be disappointed, can you handle saying no. Visualize putting this stuff aside and focus on what you want and what’s best for you, your career, your team, or your family. The gunk will be there later, and you don’t need it to make your decision.
Step 3: Step into each decision (literally)
Imagine two circles on the ground in front of you, one for each decision. From your grounded place, step into one circle, visualize the decision, and feel what wisdom your grounded body has for you. Step out and repeat with the second circle.
Here’s an example:
Imagine you have to make a decision between two job offers.
One circle is a job with a big company. The other circle is a job with a start-up. After grounding yourself and clearing out the gunk, stand in each circle. Your stomach might start to hurt in the big company circle and the word “stress” pops into your mind. When you step into the start-up, you feel thrill and excitement. That’s your intuition speaking.
You now have clear, gunk-free insight into your decision. With this clarity, decide your next step and take action!
I hope this helps.
Christina
P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive my newsletter right to their own inbox, forward this newsletter to them. They can opt-in here and receive my free gift, “How to Deal with Your Crappy Boss.”
A Simple Trick You Will Use Daily
One of my clients needed to send some important emails this week. When I asked what was getting in the way of sending the emails, the answer was work, projects at home, a lot of blah, blah, blah. (This story is told with permission).
Instead of sending the emails by the wishy-washy “end of the week,” I had said client get off the phone during our session and send the emails right that minute. No room for excuses.
We all have blah, blah, blah that is stopping us from taking action on something important, maybe even something we really want to do.
Here is a simple strategy for busting the blah, blah, blah:
Do It Now!
Right now.
Like, seriously, NOW.
Stop reading and go make that phone call, send that email, do that thing that has been glaring at you from your to-do list. (Then come back for the punch line).
Go on.
I’ll wait.
Whew! How did that feel?
My client called back for the rest of our session filled with relief and amazed that it was so easy to knock off the emails and get some important balls rolling.
Sprinkle this strategy liberally through your day. Instead of spending your precious energy planning or dreading or anticipating doing the thing, just do it now. (If I tweeted, that would be a tweetable). And be done with it.
Easy, peasy. Hit reply to this email and tell me what you did!
I hope that helps.
Christina
Doing Something New? A Strategy to Stay On Track
Many of my clients are starting new things this fall – part-time schedules, new jobs, new career possibilities, new projects at work, leading workshops for the first time, or founding big community service events.
Exciting stuff!
And when you’re embarking on something new, those needling voices can creep in. You know the ones. We all have them:
“You’re out of your league.” “You’re not qualified.” “You don’t know what you’re doing.” “Who are you to be doing that great thing?”
Damn voices.
There’s good news! You’ll never get rid of them entirely (not the good news), andyou can learn to use those voices to your advantage and keep them from derailing your success. (There’s the good news!)
Here’s the strategy:
- Listen to them. What? I’m a rebel. All my instincts say fight!
Think of those voices like a puppy that wants your attention and isn’t going to stop jumping until she gets it. Once you listen, the voices will curl up in their dog bed and go to sleep. Dropping your resistance will free a ton of your energy, too. Bonus!
- Find the 2% truth.
Consider that 2% of what those voices are saying is true. For example: My clients are doing new things, and when you’re new, you don’t always know what you’re doing. That’s a truth you can easily own.
- Uncover what’s important to you.
Those voices appear because something’s important to you. Put your focus on the important thing. For example: When you’re in a new role, you want to do a good job. It’s important to you to show up, learn, be open, and show that you’ve got the chops.
See how this works? Three easy steps to get back on track with your exciting new thing!
Bring it, Fall. We’re ready for whatever new things you’ve got!
Christina
P.S. I’m looking for new ideas. Please hit reply to this email and send me one idea or question for something you’d like to see discussed in an upcoming newsletter.
Feeling Unmotivated? Do This...
I was lying in bed this morning at 5:30, wishing I still knew how to sleep until 7:00. Sigh, those days are gone.
At 6:30, I was resisting what I knew I must do. Get up, put both feet on the floor, grab the dog, and go running.
I did not want to run.
I wanted to lie in my cozy bed and continue to enjoy these last fleeting weeks of August. (Remember last week's missive on the discomfort and lack of motivation that exists in the weird in-between liminal space of August? Yep. Still there.)
What did I do? Wait for it...I pulled my butt out of bed, leashed the pooch, and headed out.
Here’s the point:
Sometimes you don’t want to do things.
Too bad. Wah. Wah. Wah. (Pity party complete).
You do them anyway. Here’s how:
- Discipline: You don’t have to wait until you want to go running. Just drop the drama and resistance, put on your shoes, and head out the door. You don’t have to feel THE THING. You just have to take the first step in THE THING.
- Stay connected to your bigger why: I run because it unclogs my channels, clears my thinking for the day, and makes my body feel clean inside. I’m smarter and more fun when I run (just ask my kids). What’s the bigger reason you do your THING?
- Look to the future: I know I’ll be done by 7:30. Pick a point in the near future and look back at your completed task. You get to borrow gratification and feel satisfied before you even start.
That’s it. Easy, peasy lemon squeezy for your August liminal-ness.
What’s THE THING you need to do and have been waiting until you feel like it?
Stop waiting!
Take your first step and get going. Then hit reply and tell me all about it.
I hope this helps.
Christina
P.S. If you want or someone you know wants help to find your thing or to get your butt out of bed to do your thing, feel free to sign up for a complimentary session with me here.
What the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks Is Going On with August?
It’s August. Tomatoes. Sweet corn. Last trips to the lake. State Fairs. School supplies.
My clients are counting down the days until school starts.
Other clients are taking breaks to give themselves much needed time to marinate before the speed train of fall leaves the station. August can feel like mush.
What the hell is happening? Why is August so weird?
In a word (actually, four words), August is liminal space.
Limerick what?
Liminal space.
It’s a threshold. A place in-between two identifiable states of being. The middle. A waiting place.
In many cultures, liminal space is the disorienting place in the middle of a ritual (e.g. a wedding ceremony) when the participants have left their original identity (e.g. single people) and have not yet been initiated to their new identity (e.g. married people). Liminal space is disorienting, ambiguous, and uncertain like being in-between jobs, waiting for a medical diagnosis, the time between evening and night, and hanging at the airport.
So if you’re feeling disoriented, uncertain and mushy, welcome to the liminal space of August. The plans you had for summer are behind you. The routines of fall have not yet begun. And here you are, wondering what to do.
These three strategies will help:
- Stay: Stay in the in-between place. Be present. Be aware. Take the pressure off yourself to be anywhere other than here.
- Prepare: Use the time to get ready, to set the ground for what’s next. Do things behind the scenes, work on your website, clean out your files, go through your email, and return calls.
- Innovate: Do something creative. Work in a park, bring ice-cream to a meeting, conduct a brainstorming session, ride your bike to the office. Stimulate new ideas by trying something different.
Then as the weather cools off and we leave liminal space for routine, your foundation will be set and you will be ready to go.
I hope this helps.
Christina
P.S. If you feel like you’d like some support or know someone who could use support as they navigate a liminal space, schedule a free 30-minute session with me. Sign up here. I can help.
2 Secrets to Getting What You Want
A few years ago my meal arrived in our favorite gourmet burger place. I was tucking into a plate of delectable skinny fries (the shape, not the calorie content), and they were cold. I did the most effective thing I could think of:
Complain to my family.
So, here I was, complaining, and fretting about what to do (seriously?!) when my daughter, with all the truth-telling of a 6-year-old, looked me in the eye and landed Secret #1 on me:
“It’s okay to ask for what you want.”
Duh.
I told our server, hot fries were produced, and everyone was happy. The restaurant thanked me for giving them the chance to fix things, and my daughter felt smart.
Her words are for you, too: “It’s okay to ask for what you want.”
Pause right now, and ask yourself what you want that you haven’t asked for – perhaps because you’re afraid of inconveniencing other people, or looking silly, or for fear you’ll hear no.
Whatever it is. Ask for it. People can only help if they know what you want. Which brings us to Secret #2:
If you don’t ask, the answer is already no.
It’s always worth asking. People want to help and if they can’t, you can trust them to tell you. You’ve nothing to lose and everything to gain.
This week, notice when you don’t ask for what you want and practice asking.Take a deep breath and ask for free refills. Or if you’re feeling bold, ask for the BIG THING!
Then hit reply to this email and tell me all about it.
Get out there and thrive!
Christina
P.S. I’d love it if you’d share this newsletter with your friends, family and colleagues. Just forward this newsletter to them, and they can sign up here.
Inspiration is Everywhere - Even In Your Backyard!
A few weeks ago, my family returned after a week on a farm in Wisconsin. All we wanted to do was unpack, shower, and go to bed. And, outside, our cherry tree was bursting with ripe cherries that were ready to be picked RIGHT NOW. The last thing we wanted to do was deal with those cherries.
An hour later, we were in that tree, pulling down handfuls of cherries and staying up late pitting and freezing them.
This is where this story is about you.
There are amazing opportunities bursting right in front of you RIGHT NOW. And being tired and busy with other things is no excuse to miss them. Maybe you know that you’re ready for a promotion, a challenging new assignment, to go part-time, to change jobs, to strike out on your own, or to redirect your focus.
Or maybe you just have a sense that something wants to change and you’re not sure what it is.
Do these things:
- Pull your head up from all the day-to-day stuff that weighs you down. Even if it’s only 5 or 10 minutes of silence at your desk.
- Open your eyes. See what’s right in front of you.
- Allow yourself to dream, even for a minute. Remember how you spent your time when you were eight.
Life is too short to just get by and survive. You’ve got this one wonderful life. Get in your cherry tree and start pulling down the ripe handfuls that are waiting for you to grab them.
And this winter, when you’re munching on my signature cherry crisp recipe (get it here!) and enjoying your awesome new project or your newfound free time, you’ll be glad you did.
Get out there and dream!
Christina
P.S. After my first newsletter, many of you asked if you could share it with your friends and colleagues. HELL YES! Please forward this newsletter to your peeps. Your friends can click here to join the fun!