OMG! Today Deserves More Than One Sentence

I'm breaking from my one-sentence commitment because the past 24 hours warrant more than three words.

Like all of you, I watched the news in horror last night.

The TV news was blaring as I made shepherd's pie for my family. The electoral college vote resumed while I was in a virtual college counseling meeting for my high school junior. I caught up on the news before retiring to bed at 10:00.

It's a weird juxtaposition to be eating salad while members of congress are swept out of their chamber to undisclosed locations.

This morning, I walked my dogs, listened to news podcasts and thought about what to say. Three words came to mind:

  1. Attention: Pay attention. Witness what is happening. Let your emotions move through you. Last night, I wanted to eat bread and ice-cream and disappear. Numbing is not the answer. Keep your eyes open. Stay awake and conscious. See the world out there and yourself in here.
  2. Equanimity: Equanimity is the state of mental calm and a strong core, even in the face of extreme difficulty. In my morning meditation today, our teacher talked about "strong back, soft front," the combination of equanimity and compassion. Find your inner calm in the midst of the chaos. Your world needs your steady presence.
  3. Routine: Daily life must continue. You are a powerful human. You can handle complexity. You can do hard things. You can still eat salad and walk your dog. Routine brings comfort and like the United States Congress who got back to work within hours of personal terror, routines and rituals mean something. You can stand on the bedrock of your routines when your inner and outer world feel shaky.

I certainly don't profess to have all the answer in the midst of a complicated and painful situation.

And, I hope this is helpful.

 

I Was Surprised to Realize What's Important Right Now

Time to read: 10 seconds.

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2020. What a year.

Last week I was talking to a well-known psychologist in the world of parenting. He writes for major publications and blogs regularly. He told me he's not writing these days because he doesn't know what to say. I could relate.

It's been hard to write this newsletter. I've felt like to be worth your 45 seconds, I have to have answers for you or say something profound that will make this situation better. When I've watched 15 seasons of the Bachelor and am doing my best to bake away as much of this experience as possible, I've been struggling with how to make a difference for you.

And, even though the psychologist doesn't know how to help parents with online school, our conversation made me feel 100% better.

It dawned on me... What's important right now is process, not answers. It's helping you find your next step, even when the path is heading into a big unknown. You can navigate this moment well - with intention, kindness toward yourself and others, and clarity about what's important to you. You can bide your time in process, learn a lot about yourself, and figure out how to contribute from here until it's time to be out in the world in a bigger way.

If you got what you needed from this newsletter, stop reading. For the next few sentences, I'm going to invite you to join me for a powerful process that will set you up to let 2020 go and plan for a powerful 2021.

I'm excited for Goodbye 2020, Hell Yes! 2021. You, I and a group of your colleagues will spend 3 sessions uncovering what 2020 has been about for you and using 2020 as a springboard to your next step. This moment is too important to leave to chance. Join me to build a plan for moving forward.

Anyone can join. You can find more info and the registration here.

The early bird price goes through December 11, and the first session is December 17. If you have questions or want to know more before joining, email me.

Doing this process will make all the difference in 2021.

Can't wait to connect with you!

Christina

 

A Lesson In Uncertainty: 4 Principles to Live By

Time to read: 45 seconds

Election Judge! Election Queen!

Election Judge! Election Queen!

In the wake of Tuesday's election, no matter who you support, we all continue to live in uncertainty. Coronavirus has left us in uncertainty. The economic down turn stokes uncertainty. I met with a corporate group today, and even in our daily lives, things like management changes and college applications leave us in uncertainty.

People tell me they're done with uncertainty. Exhausted. Over it. And it seems like 2020 is determined to hammer home the lesson of learning to live, love and thrive in the face of uncertainty.

Here are four principles to help you live and thrive in uncertainty today and forever:

  1. Accept. Suffering comes from resisting your circumstances, not from the circumstances themselves. So, even in the face of outcomes you don't like, the first step is accept them. (Not the same thing as complacency or disengagement).
  2. Honor your emotions. Feel whatever you feel - joy, grief, sadness, inspiration, anxiety, anger. When you experience your emotions for yourself, they will not leak out in your relationships.
  3. Build your foundation. You choose your foundation based on your integrity, values, and ways of being. No candidate, job, promotion, raise, child, or even the resolution to the pandemic will provide your foundation. You are the thing you've been looking for.
  4. Put uncertainty into a bigger context - perhaps the context of history or spirituality or human evolution. Looking at a 30,000 foot level opens new possibilities and allows you to see what's happening now in a larger frame.

That's what I've got today at a challenging point in our history as a nation.

I hope this helps. Reach out anytime. I always love to hear from you.

Be well.

Christina