I Was Surprised to Realize What's Important Right Now

Time to read: 10 seconds.

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2020. What a year.

Last week I was talking to a well-known psychologist in the world of parenting. He writes for major publications and blogs regularly. He told me he's not writing these days because he doesn't know what to say. I could relate.

It's been hard to write this newsletter. I've felt like to be worth your 45 seconds, I have to have answers for you or say something profound that will make this situation better. When I've watched 15 seasons of the Bachelor and am doing my best to bake away as much of this experience as possible, I've been struggling with how to make a difference for you.

And, even though the psychologist doesn't know how to help parents with online school, our conversation made me feel 100% better.

It dawned on me... What's important right now is process, not answers. It's helping you find your next step, even when the path is heading into a big unknown. You can navigate this moment well - with intention, kindness toward yourself and others, and clarity about what's important to you. You can bide your time in process, learn a lot about yourself, and figure out how to contribute from here until it's time to be out in the world in a bigger way.

If you got what you needed from this newsletter, stop reading. For the next few sentences, I'm going to invite you to join me for a powerful process that will set you up to let 2020 go and plan for a powerful 2021.

I'm excited for Goodbye 2020, Hell Yes! 2021. You, I and a group of your colleagues will spend 3 sessions uncovering what 2020 has been about for you and using 2020 as a springboard to your next step. This moment is too important to leave to chance. Join me to build a plan for moving forward.

Anyone can join. You can find more info and the registration here.

The early bird price goes through December 11, and the first session is December 17. If you have questions or want to know more before joining, email me.

Doing this process will make all the difference in 2021.

Can't wait to connect with you!

Christina

 

A Lesson In Uncertainty: 4 Principles to Live By

Time to read: 45 seconds

Election Judge! Election Queen!

Election Judge! Election Queen!

In the wake of Tuesday's election, no matter who you support, we all continue to live in uncertainty. Coronavirus has left us in uncertainty. The economic down turn stokes uncertainty. I met with a corporate group today, and even in our daily lives, things like management changes and college applications leave us in uncertainty.

People tell me they're done with uncertainty. Exhausted. Over it. And it seems like 2020 is determined to hammer home the lesson of learning to live, love and thrive in the face of uncertainty.

Here are four principles to help you live and thrive in uncertainty today and forever:

  1. Accept. Suffering comes from resisting your circumstances, not from the circumstances themselves. So, even in the face of outcomes you don't like, the first step is accept them. (Not the same thing as complacency or disengagement).
  2. Honor your emotions. Feel whatever you feel - joy, grief, sadness, inspiration, anxiety, anger. When you experience your emotions for yourself, they will not leak out in your relationships.
  3. Build your foundation. You choose your foundation based on your integrity, values, and ways of being. No candidate, job, promotion, raise, child, or even the resolution to the pandemic will provide your foundation. You are the thing you've been looking for.
  4. Put uncertainty into a bigger context - perhaps the context of history or spirituality or human evolution. Looking at a 30,000 foot level opens new possibilities and allows you to see what's happening now in a larger frame.

That's what I've got today at a challenging point in our history as a nation.

I hope this helps. Reach out anytime. I always love to hear from you.

Be well.

Christina

 

What To Do In a Tense Election?

Time to Read: Less than 1 minute.

The tool that is bringing me the most peace during this election. See why below.

The tool that is bringing me the most peace during this election. See why below.

Alert: If you're sick of the campaign, this email is not about politics but rather about powerful and aligned process intended to help you find peace during this election. Enjoy!

This election is hanging over life like a dark cloud. The division, the chaos, the misinformation….I hear from a lot of people that they wake up at night, fear the near future, and find that relationships with close family and friends, sometimes even spouses, are suffering across differences of opinion.

Can you relate?

Hearing these stories breaks my heart and for many months this summer and into early fall, I was at a loss about what to do. Of course, my work as a coach makes a difference and the way I raise my children matters. And as the election crept closer, I felt pulled to get involved. But how?

In 2018, I tried phone-banking. I HATED it. I was so angry at the process and the waste of my time that the poor young organizers doing the debrief were glad to see me go after all the "feedback" I offered. It wasn't pretty.

This year, one of my friends, who is like the angel on my shoulder, whispered over tea on my front steps, "try this" and introduced me to my new political home: deep canvassing.

Traditional political conversations involve facts and badgering and trying to convince others of your opinion. To me that process always feels intrusive, disrespectful, unwelcome, and disconnected. People feel used. I have felt used. (Insert feedback to young debriefer here.) As a result, we avoid uncomfortable conversations and feel progressively more distant, even from those we love most.

Deep canvassing involves everything that I know makes a difference in people's work and lives. The process requires you to:

  • dig deep and be vulnerable
  • manage your instinct to convince
  • be curious and open
  • listen
  • connect

Deep canvassing starts from the premise that people matter. That their life experiences matter. That as the caller, you matter. And the belief that it is possible to reach across the divide to find that we have more in common than we think and to start to heal our nation.

(If you want to learn more about deep canvassing, here is an article from Rolling Stone and one from The Atlantic. There is also a fantastic podcast called "To See Each Other." In the first episode, you hear how a woman transformed from alienating her loved ones to healing her closest relationships.)

No matter who wins this election, the US needs healing to restore our union. In my humble opinion, the only way to do that is to listen to one another, bring empathy and curiosity, and become vulnerable for the sake of connection.

This email isn't about getting you on the phones for the last push of this election (although if you want to do that, you can sign up here.) It's about looking for the conversations you've been avoiding with family and friends. For the people you've stopped calling or who have stopped calling you. And to find a way to reach out to them. When you re-establish those connections in your personal life, they become part of the greater healing we so desperately need.

Deep canvassing gives me hope. It is helping me and many others get through this election cycle and anticipate the future with optimism.

I hope this is helpful. Please hit reply to this email and share what you think. I always love to hear from you.

Be well.

Christina