What's Your Split Screen?

Time to read: 5 seconds if you choose the 2-sentence option; 56 seconds if you read the whole thing

Candlelight vigil after the killing of Alex Pretti

The main message for today: Two things can be true at the same time. If that's all you need, feel free to stop reading here. If you want more stories and color, keep going.

When Renee Good was killed, I was with my daughter at the spa where I teach in Mexico. We were having a marvelous time in a place that creates the world I wish we had - human, kind, slow, healthy, connected, caring. In a place where people generally don't talk politics, Good's death was the main topic. Still, we ate dinner, made new friends, and went hiking. The experience was a strange split screen. One reality in front of me. Another reality was when I talked to my family and friends at home. Still another when I landed back in Minnesota.

My best friend and I had a TV date when the announcement came out that there would be candlelight vigils all over the city to honor Alex Pretti. We bundled up, took our grief and our candles, and headed out to the frigid intersection near my house. We sang and stood in community. Then we returned to the finale of The Summer I Turned Pretty. (You can't get more shallow - and fun! - than that.)

Two things can be true at the same time. You can lose someone and still enjoy a friend's birthday party. You can be disappointed about something at the office and enjoy your children that evening. You can grieve, protest, and support your neighbors and still watch shallow TV.

Actually, you must. You know from years of working that too much of anything will burn you out (too much work, too much horror, too much Christmas, too much giving, too much stress), and when you are burned out, you aren't able to show up with your gifts.

We need all our gifts. And the dog still needs a walk

 

Where Are We In This Story?

Time to read: 1 min, 16 seconds

Singing vigil in Minneapolis last weekend

Before I say anything about current events in Minnesota, here are a few important things for you to know.

  • I am not a political pundit. Although I read extensively and listen to many experts, politics is not my area of expertise. Other people do this work well.
  • I don't have answers. If I did, I'd be a political pundit. :-)
  • My lens is personal responsibility, ownership, humans, and process. I help humans become more effective humans. To me, effective means connected, responsible, honest, transparent and kind (that is a short list).
  • I believe in the possibility of world peace... if we humans would just get out of our own and each other's way. That's why I do this work.
  • I have a lot to say. It's gonna take a few weeks.

I appreciate all of you who reached back to last week's newsletter with notes of solidarity, expressions of overwhelm, and questions. I'm going to take things in bite-sized pieces. Here is what I want to say today:

We are not at the end of this story.

We are still in the middle. We are in the middle of events in Minnesota, our nation, this administration, world history, and human existence. Part of (perhaps a big part) of this administration's current actions are to create despair and powerlessness. Or to create overwhelm so you can't pay attention to one.more.thing.

When it all feels like too much, overwhelm and despair follow. This is true in politics, work, and family life.

This is not the end. The story is being written every day by humans who stand sentry outside schools to protect students, drive their neighbors to work, protest brutality and aggression, and show up in their daily lives to tend, care, love, and spread joy. You are not powerless. You always have agency. No action, prayer, or connection is too small.

I've said this many times over the years of writing this newsletter. You matter. The energy you bring to your life and work matters. What you do matters. And all of this matters even more now.

Email me anytime. Many of you learned last week that I reply to every email, and sometimes you get a big download to your serious question. I'm always happy to hear from you.

Love to you!