Tools For Your Daily Life

Time to read: 45 seconds

Time to choose a spot: 30 seconds

Actual time to chat: 30 minutes (You can choose a time to talk here).

Hello Rebels!

A participant of last year's Clarity U group coaching program lives in a part of the country that has been especially hard hit by recent events. I called her a few weeks ago to check on her and her family. In the course of our conversation (she is doing fine), I asked if she uses her Clarity U strategies.

She laughed and was like, "Yeah. Everyday. I'll send you a picture." Then she sent me the above photo of her desk, covered in tools from Clarity U.

She said she uses the lessons she learned in Clarity U to calm herself when she feels stress. She uses her tools to de-escalate tension and conflict at work. She's even a calmer mother, laughing when she explained that the desk in the photo was soon going to be returned to a deer processing table for the hunters in her family. She's calmer, happier, and more productive. In her words,

"When I need to re-center, I look down, take a breath and feel like I’m safe."

That's the point of Clarity U - to fill your toolbox with actionable strategies that will make a difference every.single.day. In Clarity U, you will clean out the junk (old beliefs and habits) that hold you back and clear the path to design your future. You will be challenged and uplifted.

One thing is certain, the future is coming. (Winter is coming too, but that's a different reference.) There is no returning to the "normal" we had before. The national and international mood crackles with change. Now is the perfect time to do the work to be ready to embrace and create whatever happens next for you, your community, and the world.

Intrigued? Want to know more? Everyone who joins spends a little time with me sharing what's going on for you, strategizing solutions, and asking questions. Choose a time to talk on my personal calendar. Spots fill fast so I added a bunch more.

If you want to read about Clarity U, click here for a detailed information page. The early bird price ends on October 9 so let's talk before then.

Those of you who know me know that hopping on the phone won't land you in a weird sales vortex. These conversations are authentic and connected. My goal is to help you figure out your next step - Clarity U or not.

I look forward to connecting. Choose a time here.

In the words of another participant:

"Working with Clarity U gave me insights and tools that I use daily. This work has been more valuable than a lifetime of therapy. (And a lot more fun.) I wish I had done it 20 years ago. Christina and Anne are insightful and honest and two of the warmest and most encouraging people I have ever had the honor to know." E.G.

Take advantage of the early bird price by joining by or before October 9.

I can't wait to talk.

Christina

P.S. If you're sitting on the sidelines wondering if you should check out Clarity U, the answer is YES. Choose a time to talk here.

P.P.S. Know someone who is ready to take the leap? Please forward this email to them.

3 Tips For a Successful Transition to 2020

Time to read: 1.05 minutes

This is the second time my dishwasher has been featured in a newsletter.

Happy New Year!

It's 2020.

Chaos is the name of the game. My clients are experiencing chaos. I'm experiencing chaos. Do these examples feel familiar?

• The dishwasher broke down.
• Your child showed up to the class he's registered for and discovered he's not registered.
• The scope on a work project crept over the holidays, and everyone on the team is confused about their role.
• You're not sleeping well.
• People are sick.

Here's the good news. Early January is a period of transition. Life doesn't immediately go back to "normal" on January 1st. The promise of the New Year doesn't take off on January 1st. It will take you a few days to a week to feel like the ground is solid under your feet again.

So, what's a Corporate Rebel to do in the chaos of transition?

1. Get to know and accept your process. You have a process that guides you safely through a transition. Some parts of your process may not be pretty. Mine involves a major freak-out/melt down. A friend's involves apathy. Move through your process (even the messy bits) with acceptance and grace. After my melt-down, I have a day of super efficiency. It's like a storm blows through, clears the debris, and sets the runway for take-off.


2. Be patient. Transitions aren't a one and done. Give yourself time to get back on your feet after taking time off.


3. Take one step at a time. You'll find a firm foundation one email at a time. One meeting at a time. All you have to do is write that one proposal. Send that one inquiry. Call that one person. Pretty soon you'll be on a roll.

Then it will be spring break, and you can come home from vacation and do it all again.

Mid-January through the end of February are the perfect time to reflect on 2019 and create an intentional plan for 2020. If you'd like to talk about a powerful 2-session process to guide you through reflection and planning, hit reply to this email and we'll set up a quick time to chat.

Welcome back, Rebels!

Christina

P.S. Do you have a friend or family member who is transitioning to the new yea? Share my blog with them. If they choose to receive more, they can join us here.

P.P.S. The New Year is the perfect time for a Corporate Rebel Strategic Plan for Work and Life OR a Corporate Rebel Year End Reflection and Plan. Both offer the chance to reflect on 2019 and plan for 2020. Email me for more info.

The Biggest Lie You've Been Told

Time to read: Less than one minute

Dear Rebels,

When you were young, did you dream of your future? Maybe a job that earned a good living. A family. Time to pursue your passions and interests. Travel. Then, once you got that job, you poured yourself into it with gusto (or not). You played volleyball after work. You took painting classes or sang in a choir. You slept in on weekends and had dinner regularly with friends.

Then maybe you committed to a partner. Perhaps you built a family. You got promoted or changed jobs or went back to school. Your parents got older. Maybe you bought a house. Life got more complex and even though it happened over years, it seems like overnight you became exhausted, overwhelmed, and focused on life as a checklist of transactions. You used to feel like you had it all together and now balls are dropping, friends are a distant memory, exercise was first to go, and the "few tips" you've tried to regain control lasted all of a minute before everything snapped back to the relentless new "normal."

Does some version of this sound familiar?

I grew up in the 1980s when young people were fed the biggest lie of all time.

The lie?

You can have it all.

It's total crap.

Also total crap is the feeling that there is something wrong with you if you can't manage it all.

A wise mentor once said to me, "You can have anything. You just can't have everything."

Cue one of my favorite themes: Choices.

You get to choose your priorities. When you're trying to stuff 15 pounds of life into a 5 pound bag, you get to choose what to let go, what is non-negotiable, what can wait, and what you'll prioritize.

Stop beating yourself up for not being able to manage it all. No one can. It's a lie.

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Know someone who needs to let go of the lie? Send them here to find relief.

Are You Headed to Where You Want to Go?

Time to read: 1 minute, 17 seconds of your precious time.

The actual deck chairs on the actual Titanic

I was on the phone yesterday with a woman who feels unfulfilled at work. (And that could be any number of a hundred different people this week.) She's been in her job for 15 years, and her role feels routine and boring. She asked the key question many of you ask me when we get on the phone:

"Is it time to head for the door or change something and get happy here?"

Today, I'm going to give you a definitive answer to this question.

I don't know.

OK. End of blog. Have a great weekend, everyone!

Just kidding. There's more to say about this.

When you reach the moment of "should I stay or should I go?" (cue soundtrack), there are three important steps to help you figure out the answer. These steps must be done in order to be effective. Here they are:

• Step 1. Inventory yourself. Build your self awareness. What do you value? What do you want? What can you live with? What can't you live without? What are your deepest longings and desires? What's your vision for your career? What do you need to remember about your personal interests and priorities? Are you on that path or not?


• Step 2. Understand the implications of #1. What's the impact on you, your colleagues, family and company of any choice you make? What are the tradeoffs? What's the possible upside? Downside? What are you willing to give up? What will you not sacrifice?


• Step 3. Decide what to do. Is it time to have hard conversations? Do you advocate for changes at work? Do you quit? Change jobs? Retire to the beach?

The problem is that you typically start by trying to answer #3 first. This is a natural place to try to start, because it is on the surface, easier to see, and easier to feel like you're proactively taking action. If you just change jobs, everything will be different, right? Wrong. It's like rearranging the deck chairs without addressing why the ship is sinking.

When you finally decide what to do, you want to make your decision based on what you want with a clear sense of direction. You want your plan to be intentional and conscious. You're going to get where you are headed whether that is where you want to go or not.

Consciousness and intention will lead you to happiness at work and in life and will ensure the destination is what you want.

And that, my rebel friends, is the answer.

If you're like, ok, now what? How do I figure out #1? Let's talk. I have a few more spots open. Grab a 30-minute spot here.

Have a great weekend!

Christina

P.S. If you love the idea of creating a plan for 2019 or you have a friend who is struggling with the "should I stay or should I go question," both of you can sign up for time to chat here.

I Email (Text), Therefore I Am

Time to read: Email Mastery - Part 2 of 2. 1 minute and 15 seconds to read.

Last week I wrote about email as a distraction that we call "work." This week, I want to highlight another way that email invades your consciousness. First, a little background:

As an executive coach, I work from home, and I spend a lot of time with my dog alone. As an uber extrovert, I've been surprised at how ok I am with this arrangement. And, I love connecting - with friends, on the phone with clients, the person at the checkout counter, and other parents at my children's school. I love email. Email gives me an easy way to connect with all of you, and a great way to keep in touch with friends in countries far away.

And, email can get out of hand.

Geez, I hate to even admit this.

At times, email gives me a reason for being. Texting does, too. Tell me if you've ever experienced this (please really do tell me so I don't feel so weird): It's the weekend and you check your email more frequently than perhaps is necessary since no one is online, except they are, and when you receive an email (or a text), you get a little dopamine hit that says, "thank goodness, I matter."

Wow. Did I really admit that?

Here's the thing. I'm saying this as much for my sake as for yours. Your email does not equal your mattering. In fact, you matter just because you do, even if you never received another email in your entire life.

What does matter is your ability to connect. You matter because you show up, you're kind, and you make a difference in the communities you occupy, at work and in life. Your presence makes a difference to the people you love and even to the strangers who cross your path. That matters.

Your email has nothing to do with it, even if it feels like it sometimes. So, you really can put it down.

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Wanna share the mattering with your friends? You can! Just forward this email to them and they can join us here.

Can You Be Powerful When Things are Out of Control?

Time to read: 40 seconds

If you're making choices, choose what's important to you, like Adventure!

I was talking with a client today about choices. She's in a tough situation that leaves her feeling powerless and isn't likely to change anytime soon. The challenge for her: to stay empowered and at choice even when so much feels out of her control.

So how do you stay empowered and at choice when things are out of your control?

The lesson is summed up in this poignant quote from writer, Annie Dilliard:

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."

You make choices every day - about how to respond in traffic, to be on time to meet a friend (or not), to show up to your child's soccer game (or not), to be annoyed after a meeting (or not). We all know people who seem bound and determined to be unhappy. And others who find happiness and gratitude even in the face of unbelievable hardship.

Your small choices matter, every minute of every day.

• They matter to you. (Are you truly choosing according to what's important to you or are you choosing based on some sense of what you "should" choose or from a reactive emotional place?)
• They matter to the people around you. (What are you modeling for your employees or your children?).
• They matter to the world. (What is the energy you are projecting out into the wider world? Is it the energy you want to project?)

Life isn't always easy, and you don't always get what you want. You do, however, get to choose, every day, how you will navigate the cards you have been dealt.

And that, dear Corporate Rebel, is how you create the life you want. One choice at a time.

With rebel love,

Christina

Why You Can Stop Worrying About Your Career

Time to read: 2:19.26 minutes

At camp, being…well…campy.

This summer, while I was working at my children's summer camp, I offered pro-bono coaching to the staff. After 30-hours of early morning sessions with a group of 19-26-year-olds, I started to notice patterns. Then, when considering my MBA, private and corporate clients, I realized there is an arch to the career journey characterized by age and phase of life. Daily, I hear people worrying about their careers and life choices. My goal today is to reassure you whether this is your first rodeo or your one-hundredth.

(Note: I'm not a huge fan of reducing individual experience to a one-size-fits all label so know that as I share these observations with you, the boundaries are fuzzy, and professional and personal experiences are as unique as you are.)

Age 19 - mid to late 20s: Exploration. If you are in this age group, you are likely laying awake a night worrying that you don't know what you want to be or if you should marry the guy or dump him, or if you will ever be able to afford a house. These early years of career development are fraught with worry and doubt.

My message? Have fun! Explore! Try some stuff. Work at a ski resort. Deliver pizza in New Zealand. Apprentice yourself to that scientist in the woods. Trust yourself.

Bottom line: Stop worrying.

Age 25 - late 20s (or if you're like me, early 30s): Roots. If you are here, you are starting to wonder about settling down. Living in one place starts to seem more attractive than seasonal employment and traveling all the time. Not surprisingly, as your perspective shifts, you start to find potential life partners. You might be hungry to get a career started and work, work, work. This is a great age to be a consultant or to have a job with lots of travel. You might be worrying if you are ready for commitments and responsibility.

My message? Embrace the change in perspective. Put down those roots. Make choices. If you're chomping at the bit to work, then work. Nothing is set in stone. You can always change direction. Trust yourself.

Bottom line: Stop worrying.

Age mid-30s to mid to late 40s: Complexity. Before this phase, you think you understand your priorities (career!). Then you have kids. Or your parents get sick. Or you get laid off. Or something else interrupts your perfect plan. Life gets complex, and your priorities start to shift again. If you are in this phase, you are likely worrying if you have invested too many years in the wrong job or if you should stay home with your children or if you will ever get that promotion or if you should try for an overseas assignment or if you are saving enough for retirement.

My message? Get back in touch with your values. Learn to live with increasing uncertainty. Be intentional in your choices. Make choices. Don't just stumble along doing what you think you're supposed to. Trust yourself.

Bottom line: Stop worrying.

Age late 40s to late 50s or early 60s: Confidence. If this is you, you likely care a lot less what people think. You're clearer about your gifts and are using them in the world. If you are a career professional, you've developed a level of expertise - even if that expertise spans many different specific job descriptions (like me). You're getting wiser. And calmer. Some things may be shaken up or re-negotiated - divorce, kids getting older, getting reconnected to past hobbies and interests. You might worry if you even remember who you are anymore.

My message? Get close with your gifts. Don't be afraid to be brave about necessary life changes. Own what you love. Be who you are. Trust yourself.

Bottom line: Stop worrying.

Mid to late 60s and 70s. Letting go. I rely on dear friends and mentors for anything I know about this phase. If you're here, your relationship to work as you've known it is shifting. You're excited about the prospect of well-earned freedom even as you worry about your identity and can't wait to purge your house. For some, the temptation to cling to a professional identity over-powers the potential expansion of possibilities making the transition to this powerful phase of life more difficult.

My message? Keep going! Have fun! Embrace the possibilities of a newly wide-open playing field. Invest your energy in the things that are most important to you.

Bottom line: Stop worrying.

Here's your challenge: Can you can find the point of this article?

Rebel love to you!

Christina

P.S. Do you have a friend who is fretting about one of these career phases? Share the love with them by forwarding this email. They can sign up to join us right here.