Time to read: 1 minute, 23 seconds
I don't take photos of people in conflict so you're gonna get random pictures of my pets. :-)
Last week, I talked about handling your emotions so you can enter a difficult conversation as cleanly as you can.
A comment about your emotions: That advice assumes, of course, that you have time to give yourself space (for example: when informing an employee they won't be getting a raise). You may find yourself delivering bad news in an emergency (for example, "Dad is in the hospital!"). The same conversational structure applies, and you may not have time to temper your own emotions before you make the phone call.
When you have time, I highly recommend preparation. Think about these things:
- What is the purpose of the conversation?
- What do you hope you and the other person will get out of it?
- What will you say?
- How will you say it?
- Who do you want to be in the conversation?
I recommend writing a script for yourself or at least some thoughts. It's not like you have to walk in with a set of notecards. And, it helps to know the point you want to make, the important information to convey, and how you want to conduct yourself.
Your script might look like this:
- Conversation with sister.
- Goal, get aligned on care for our parents. Stay in a relationship when we don't see eye-to-eye.
- Opening sentence: It's clear we both love our parents. What I'm about to say may be hard to hear. Please stay with me as we work through this emotional situation.
- Being: Be loving and slow down. Remember to listen and value what she says. Connect, even when it's hard.
Preparation will make the conversation go smoothly (although, coming soon…you have no control over how the other person responds).
Next week: How to open the conversation
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