Are You Headed to Where You Want to Go?

Time to read: 1 minute, 17 seconds of your precious time.

The actual deck chairs on the actual Titanic

The actual deck chairs on the actual Titanic

I was on the phone yesterday with a woman who feels unfulfilled at work. (And that could be any number of a hundred different people this week.) She's been in her job for 15 years, and her role feels routine and boring. She asked the key question many of you ask me when we get on the phone:

"Is it time to head for the door or change something and get happy here?"

Today, I'm going to give you a definitive answer to this question.

I don't know.

OK. End of blog. Have a great weekend, everyone!

Just kidding. There's more to say about this.

When you reach the moment of "should I stay or should I go?" (cue soundtrack), there are three important steps to help you figure out the answer. These steps must be done in order to be effective. Here they are:

  • Step 1. Inventory yourself. Build your self awareness. What do you value? What do you want? What can you live with? What can't you live without? What are your deepest longings and desires? What's your vision for your career? What do you need to remember about your personal interests and priorities? Are you on that path or not?

  • Step 2. Understand the implications of #1. What's the impact on you, your colleagues, family and company of any choice you make? What are the tradeoffs? What's the possible upside? Downside? What are you willing to give up? What will you not sacrifice?

  • Step 3. Decide what to do. Is it time to have hard conversations? Do you advocate for changes at work? Do you quit? Change jobs? Retire to the beach?

The problem is that you typically start by trying to answer #3 first. This is a natural place to try to start, because it is on the surface, easier to see, and easier to feel like you're proactively taking action. If you just change jobs, everything will be different, right? Wrong. It's like rearranging the deck chairs without addressing why the ship is sinking.

When you finally decide what to do, you want to make your decision based on what you want with a clear sense of direction. You want your plan to be intentional and conscious. You're going to get where you are headed whether that is where you want to go or not.

Consciousness and intention will lead you to happiness at work and in life and will ensure the destination is what you want.

And that, my rebel friends, is the answer.

If you're like, ok, now what? How do I figure out #1? Let's talk. I have a few more spots open. Grab a 30-minute spot here.

Have a great weekend!

Christina

P.S. If you love the idea of creating a plan for 2019 or you have a friend who is struggling with the "should I stay or should I go question," both of you can sign up for time to chat here.

Three Unsexy Ways to Realize Your Dreams

Time to read: 1:19.62 minutes

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Happy New Year Corporate Rebels!

I hear a lot about people's dreams or people ask me how I have realized my dreams. If you follow my stuff, you know I'm a believer in magic. I'm also a believer in something a lot less sexy than magic. That is...

Discipline.

It's true that my clients get raises and promotions and get happier at work and in life (their dreams). It's true that I have the flexibility to travel and raise my own children while also having a fulfilling and meaningful career (my dreams). Many days, the path to realizing those dreams is as much discipline as it is magic.

It takes discipline to take a hard look at how you conduct yourself or the choices you make to evaluate if they align with what you want. You have to force yourself to have hard conversations that clean up old patterns and relationships. You sometimes have to stick your butt to your chair to write the report, create the development plan, or for me, today, produce this newsletter. There's nothing magic about making yourself do The Thing.

Here are three ways to stay disciplined about creating your dreams when you're tempted to get another cup of coffee, call the dentist, or talk to your cube-mates:

  1. Remain true to your bigger commitments. That report is just a thing. This newsletter is just a thing. And that thing represents your service to your customers, your value of trust, and your love for your people. This one thing you have to do is part of a bigger picture that is made up of hundreds of "just a things."

  2. Decide to start. It's pretty simple. Just decide you are going to do the thing and sit down to make yourself start. Once you start, it is much easier to keep going until you're finished.

  3. Set up a reward. I'm a big fan of joy and fun so I reward myself all the time. Something like this works for me (dorky, I know), after you write your weekly newsletter, then you can make another cup of tea. (Maybe I should dream bigger. After you write, you get a diamond ring.)

Support and accountability also help you create your dreams. A few of you have reached out to tell me that all the January spots to talk with me are already filled. I opened a few more.

If you want to create a 2019 plan to get you on the path to what you want, let's talk! Choose a time here.

And now I get that cup of tea diamond ring!

With rebel warmth,

Christina

P.S. If you want to explore ways to create a plan for 2019, let's talk. I have a couple of step-by-step processes in my toolbox that will get you set up for a wonderful 2019. Choose a time to talk here.

P.P.S. Please share this link with your friends who want a plan for 2019. Just forward this email directly to them.

 

What's Your Plan for 2019?

Time to read: A nice round one minute and fifteen seconds.

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It's 2019. A new year. New possibilities. Now what?!

The truth is... I hate New Years. There's so much hype, and when I wake up on January 1st, it's the same life and the same me. You are likely at the same job as on Dec 31st. You feel much the same way about your life as you did before Christmas. You probably have to write a development plan for 2019 and would love to have something inspiring and new to write, but what? How?

Miraculous changes for the new year don't happen because the ball drops in Times Square. Growth happens because you choose it. You decide if 2019 will be the same old, same old or if you look back at 2019 as the year you took charge.

I'm a coach. (You know that, right?)

I have a couple of ideas for how you can chart a new course in 2019 to set yourself on the path to create what you want for your career and life. Both involve talking to me. And both are powerful stand-alone processes to analyze where you are, define where you want to go, and set a plan to get there. See what you think:

  1. The Year-End Evaluation: It's like a performance evaluation for 2018. We'll analyze what went well, what didn't and how you want to use all of that learning to set the direction for 2019. This process is for you if you already have a good sense of what you want, and you want to set powerful goals to get there.

  2. The Work and Life Strategic Plan: This is a deep inventory of all your professional and personal assets, your failures, your triumphs, what's important to you and where you are headed. This process is excellent if you are confused about what you want or uncertain about your next step. If you long for clarity and a plan forward, this process is for you!

It's been at least a year since I have opened my calendar beyond my private clients. To help you consider a new plan for 2019, I have opened a few spots in the next two weeks. Grab a spot here. We'll spend 30 minutes talking about the current state of your life and career, where you want to go, and what sort of support will help you get there - whether that's me, a DIY, or someone else.

If you want a new plan for the new year, let's talk. Don't settle for same-old, same-old. Make 2019 the year you put your work and life on your terms.

Choose a time to talk here.

(And if you need other times, please hit reply and email me. We'll find a time that works for you.)

Happy New Year, everyone! I look forward to connecting.

All the best!

Christina

P.S. Don't end up in March not knowing where you're headed this year. Put your career and life back on your terms with a plan... an actual plan... for 2019. Let's talk about how to do that. Choose a time here.

P.P.S. If one of your friends was complaining over her Winter Wonderland Martini that she has no plan for 2019, forward this email and have her choose a time. (Men friends are welcome, too!)

It's Christmas! What's Your Heart's Desire?

Time to read: Less than one minute! (All client stories are told with their express permission.)

What's your heart's desire?

What's your heart's desire?

One of my clients came to me because she was unhappy at work. She was frustrated by parts of her work environment, wondered if she was in the right profession, and wanted to consider going into business for herself. We had lots of conversations about her professional dreams, her strengths, what wasn't working, what she wanted for her career, and what she would create in her business.

And, since I believe that people are whole and integrated across work and home, we talked about her daughter and family life as well. She was very clear that they were a happy, one-child family with two parents focused on their careers.

During one particularly powerful session, I asked her, "What's your heart's desire?" The air became charged in a potent silence. Then to my surprise, as well as her own, she said, "I want another child." Neither of us expected that answer as she had been consistently committed to a single-child. From that moment, little Mathias was destined to enter this world into the waiting arms of a big sister who had dreamed of him for years.

Fast forward to today. Mathias is now 5. His mother happily still works in the same profession, for the same employer. The dissatisfaction she was experiencing wasn't with her career. What she really wanted was much bigger. Once she set about the business of fulfilling her heart's desire, she filled the empty space, and her career satisfaction handled itself.

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So, I ask you, as Christmas draws close, what is your heart's desire? It's time to set about the business of going out there to get it. (Here's a hint: It may not be your job.)

Please email me at christina@boydsmithcoaching.com and tell me all about it. I always love to hear from you.

With love,

Christina

P.S. I can't promise you a baby for Christmas (although 3 babies have been born as a direct result of coaching with me). I can promise you a powerful weekly dose of optimism and practical tools to help you find your heart's desire at work and at home. Give the gift of that insight to your friends by sharing this newsletter with them. They can join here.

Christmas Magic. It's Not Just for Christmas Anymore!

Time to read: A magical 49 seconds.

Christmas magic is available to you every day!

Christmas magic is available to you every day!

Greetings rebels!

Do you believe in Santa?

When my children were little, they'd ask me if Santa was real. My answer was always a fine line between my value of honesty and the fun of keeping the magic alive. My typical reply? "Well, honey. I believe in the magic of Christmas, and Santa is part of that magic."

Even though the Santa thing has been busted now that my kids are teenagers, I still believe in the magic of Christmas. Even more, I've come to realize that the magic of Christmas is actually present in every day life if you know where to look.

Do you experience magic in your every day life?

Try on these examples so you can start to find the magic, even at the office. This idea is not as woo-woo as it sounds.

  1. You think you're late to catch a flight, and the plane ends up being delayed. You make your flight.
  2. Your roof needs a repair, and you get a surprise bonus from your boss for just the amount to cover it.
  3. You're tired, crabby and lonely after a hard day at work, and your best friend from high school calls to check in.
  4. You stumble across that book in a used bookstore on... (fill in the blank)... that you've always wanted.

Sure, logic might explain these things as lucky coincidences. My husband said to me this morning when I was mooning over the magic of finding a lost password that "the googles know everything." It's possible that there's only luck or Google. And isn't it more fun to entertain the possibility that magic works in your life every day?

Look around and see what you can see.

Christmas magic all the time. Even at work. Now that's pretty awesome.

With rebely, Christmas love!

Christina

P.S. Share the Christmas magic with your colleagues and friends. They can join us here.

 

Overwhelmed By Stuff? 4 Tips for Gaining Control

Time to read: Because you want bonus time to clean your desk, 1:08.02 minutes to read

The storage room in our attic. Many of those boxes are going to go!

The storage room in our attic. Many of those boxes are going to go!

Hello corporate rebels!

Every year at Christmas, I feel the need to purge my house. I feel stressed about the number of gifts that come in the door during the holiday so in preparation, I want piles of stuff to go out first. This urge got me thinking about you and the gifts you feel you can't send to Goodwill, your cluttered desk, or your filled basement. How are you effected by your stuff?

For better or worse, Christmas in America heavily features things. So, as holiday gift-giving fast approaches, here are some tips for dealing with the stuff on your desk and in your home.

  1. Stuff takes energy. Recognize that stuff isn't neutral. Your stuff requires management, sorting, and organizing. The crap on your desk takes attention, focus and time that could be freed for more creative and productive activities.
  2. Manage the in-flow. Minimize the amount of stuff that comes into your life. You know all those freebies given away at conferences? Resist. Does your mother show love by showering your kids with toys? Talk to her. You don't have to manage stuff you never get.
  3. Prioritize space over stuff. Empty shelves, clear counters, and a clean desk feel like a giant exhale. Create space so you can breathe and open your creativity for meaningful work. Space lets energy flow more freely. More of that, please!
  4. Trust the future. I've heard that holding onto things because you "might need it someday" is a vote of no-confidence in your ability to trust the future. You can trust that you can handle whatever happens in your life and that you will be ready for anything. Releasing things you don't use now is a testament to trusting yourself.

So, in those precious hours when the office is quiet during the holidays, use these tips to help you clean out your files and create space on your desk. The you who returns after Christmas will be grateful!

My commitment is to throw out boxes of mementos and files from my dissertation that I haven't opened since 1999. Hit reply to this email and tell me your commitment to creating more space in your life this holiday season.

Happy purging!

Christina

P.S. Have a friend who likes Christmas as much as I do? This December's theme is gifts. Forward this newsletter to them. They can join us here.

 

Want to Feel Like a Kid at Christmas?

Time to read: December is all about gifts, including the gift of time. Less than one minute to read. (Even though it's technically still Nov, I like to start the Christmas countdown the day after Thanksgiving!)

I've been watching the mail for these! It's like Christmas!

I've been watching the mail for these! It's like Christmas!

Remember when you were little and Christmas took FOREVER to come? You watched the mail and snuck around the house peeking in closets looking for gifts. Do you remember bursting with anticipation? You lay in your bed, propping your eyes open, hardly able to stand the wait until Christmas morning.

Do you ever feel that sense of pure excitement, thrill and anticipation in your life now? If you do, you're lucky. And I have a feeling that your morning commute doesn't make you leap out of bed at 4:00 am or that staff meeting doesn't cause you to ask, "Is it time yet? Is it time yet?"

What if you could, every once in a while, give yourself the gift of anticipation and thrill?

You can.

You don't have to wait for someone else to give you what you want. You don't have to spend a lot of money to feel excited. And you don't have to hope beyond hope that Santa will still put a present under the tree for you.

Giving yourself a gift may be the best... well... gift you can give yourself.

Here are some easy gifts for self-giving:

  • Order something and have lots of fun checking the email every hour to see if it has arrived.
  • Plan a tea date with a beloved friend you haven't seen in a while and count the days.
  • Schedule a phone call with someone far away and relish the waiting to connect.
  • Plan a block of free time over the weekend to paint, read, or listen to a favorite album and then get excited.

The key is to plan something and have fun waiting. Choose one and enjoy the feeling of being a kid at Christmas again!

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Invite your friends to join us for December where I will be all presents all the time in honor of Christmas. They can join us here. Did I mention that I LOVE Christmas?