Time to read: 1 minute, 16 seconds
Welcome to the series on difficult conversations! I'm going to take you step-by-step through the anatomy of a hard conversation. By the end, you'll have a complete toolkit for how to prepare, what to say, and how to handle the other person (people) as well as yourself.
This series addresses how to deliver bad news, handle conflict and bad feelings, or say things that are hard to hear. I'll address both personal and professional conversations, give examples, and offer scripts you can lift from the page and try in your life and work.
Where to start? Oh right…at the beginning.
Let's assume you have a situation like this:
- Telling a client you are raising their rates
- Delivering a bad performance review
- Delivering any kind of bad news
- Pushing back on your boss or colleague
- Handling a friend or family member who has hurt you
Your first step is to prepare yourself. In any situation where you have been hurt or have to deliver unpopular news, you will have feelings and reactions. You may be:
- Nervous
- Angry
- Afraid
- Dreading
- Nauseous
- Betrayed
- Sad
So your first step is get clean with yourself. Find a place to experience your feelings: talk to a friend, cry in your car, scream in the shower, twist a towel. Do what you need to do to handle your feelings so they don't muddy the conversation.
Please don't expect to feel GREAT when you deliver bad news. You just don't want to be in reaction.
So, the first step is give yourself some time and space to handle your feelings so you can enter the conversation clean.
Next week: How to prepare
As this series rolls out, if you have questions, please reach out anytime, email me . I love to hear from you!