How Are You Coping?

Time to read: 2 minutes if you read both PSes.

Yup - I've seen all these seasons of the Bachelor(ette)

You don't need me to remind you of all the ways that things are stressful right now. Some days, the stress is so all-encompassing that it's hard to face the day. We are in survival mode - quite literally - and when in survival mode, you figure out how to cope.

Some coping is good.

Some coping is bad.

What are good and bad strategies, you may ask?

I have the most frustrating coach-y sort of answer...

It depends.

We can probably agree that violence against others is a bad coping strategy and finding homes for kittens is good. What about all the others like wine? TV? Cake? Work?

The answer goes back to last week's newsletter - know thyself.

Let's take my favorite coping strategy. My 16-year-old and I are on our 12th season of The Bachelor(ette). That's a lot of group dates, rose ceremonies and interpersonal drama. If you had suggested a year ago that The Bachelor would feature heavily in my mental health, I would have laughed.

To stay sane these days, something mindless and absorbing is not only fun, it's crucial. You can't consume a steady diet of politics and coronavirus news and stay mentally healthy. Mental breaks are vital. As a mental vacation, The Bachelor = good coping.

If I start to disappear into stupid TV to the exclusion of daily activities or you start to use wine to numb the discomfort of these hard times or if overworking is masking your feelings, then we've crossed into bad coping. Only you can know where that line is (that's the "it depends" part).

A glass of wine, TV time, and productive work may be exactly what you need to survive these times. Then know when your excellent coping has crossed into disappearing, numbing and denial and pull yourself back.

The Corporate Rebel coaching group is the best kind of coping. Fantastic colleagues. Consistent support. A step-by-step process to get to know yourself so you can powerfully navigate this moment in history and come out the other side ready for what's next.

Clarity U, will start in October. This program opens once a year, and I'd love to chat with you about how Clarity U will support and grow where you are now and where you want to go.

Sign up here for a 30-minute chat.

We'll talk about what's going on for you, what you need, and whether Clarity U is a good next step for where you are headed. For any of you who have worked with me, you know this initial conversation is casual, fun and productive whether you decide to join or not.

Here are some words from last year's participants:

"Doing this work has been more valuable than a lifetime of therapy. (And a lot more fun.)" - E.G.

"The Clarity U program has helped me in ways I didn't realize were possible." - A.C.

"I am so glad I participated in this program, it has changed me in ways I never expected!" - A.R.

I can't wait to connect!

Christina

P.S. Want to talk about Clarity U? Choose a time here for us to talk about what's going on in your life and career and how Clarity U will help you use the next few months to build your capacity for what's next.

P.P.S. Here's more information. Let's talk!

Do you relate to any of these statements?

• Life feels chaotic and uncertain, and you feel overwhelmed and depleted.
• You make decisions from a place of fear instead of empowered choice, constantly second guessing yourself.
• You’re simultaneously unproductive and working more than you ever have.
• The ineffective patterns that have held you back for years have intensified, showing up in work dynamics and personal relationships.
• You’re reaching for ways to get your life and work back in control and not sure how or what to do.

What's in it for you? Starting in October you will learn to...

• Shake off negative patterns of thinking and behaving so you can stop holding yourself back. Your life will be easier and work more fulfilling during this stressful time and into the future.
• Gracefully navigate uncertainty so you are confident in your ability to handle change and instability.
• Ground yourself physically and spiritually to allow radical transformation so you can stand steady in the midst of chaos.
• Wield your new, portable Toolbox of Skills so you're ready to take action, make choices, and be in control of your career and life.
• Get clear about who you are and what you want, and bravely take action to make your goals real.

Let's Hang Out! Announcing the Corporate Rebel Roundable

Time to read: 56 seconds. If you want to join the Corporate Rebel Roundtable now,
click here to join. (It's free!)

I'm excited to announce The Corporate Rebel Roundtable. YOU'RE the first to be invited!

At the end of my newsletters when I say, "I love to hear from you," I'm serious.

I love to hear from you.

I've been brainstorming ways to connect with you more, and I'm excited to invite you to The Corporate Rebel Roundtable.

Picture this:

You. Me. Your Corporate Rebel Colleagues. Gathered in a virtual conference room. The kind with windows and snacks and those chairs that adjust up and down (except we'll all be online).

Each month you will be invited to meet on Zoom for a live, deep 60-minute conversation about work. I'll set the topic and get us started then we'll co-create an experience of sharing, coaching, and learning.

The Corporate Rebel Roundtable is for you if...

• You want to connect with colleagues across the globe.
• You want a place to talk about issues, challenges and celebrations at work.
• You want coaching on particular situations in your workplace. You want to grow as a professional and as an individual.
• You love all things Corporate Rebel.

We start on Friday, March 13 from 11:00 - 12:00 CT. It's FREE, and you need to sign up here so I know how many people to expect. No worries if you miss it live. The calls will be recorded.

Please invite your friends and colleagues. This is an easy way for them to taste The Corporate Rebel fun. Your friends can sign up here.

I can't wait to connect with you live. See you in a couple of weeks!

Christina

What's the Common Denominator In Your Stress?

Time to Read: 1 minute, 38 seconds (maybe two minutes if you read every detail to the bottom)

Hello Rebels!

In my late 20s, I got a PhD. While writing my dissertation, I ate at strange hours, stayed up late, and became crabby and unreliable to my friends and loved ones. Once I graduated, I ran from becoming a professor. I never wanted to repeat the pattern of behavior that burned me out so thoroughly.

So, I went into business. The corporate world was a great fit. I loved the stimulation and the people problems in my HR and Compliance roles. Then the company got acquired, the industry was being overhauled by the government, and I was involved in creating a significant cultural change in our sales and marketing practices. I was staying up all hours and became crabby with my children and unreliable to my friends. I quit and vowed never to take another corporate job because I was exhausted and burned out. (Hmmm... Are you seeing a pattern yet? At the time, I didn't.)

So, I got retrained as a coach and started my own business. I was my own boss, could set my own hours, and determine my own priorities. Three years into my coaching business, I launched a big project and became crabby and unreliable and once again, burned myself out so thoroughly, I literally had to lay on the couch for a week.

At that point I was like, "wait… a… minute. I'm in my own business. I can do things however I like, and I'm still burning myself out. Damn it. The common denominator is me."

Insert wake up call.

Can you relate?

Do you see a pattern that you repeat again and again even when you are sure that changing the circumstances (job, marriage, location, weight) will fix it? Maybe you don't see the pattern, and you simply find yourself stuck in the same situation over and over.

Personal experience taught me that changing the circumstances fixes it for a few months or a couple of years and then you find yourself watching the same movie and wondering how it happened again.

I've spent the past two years diving deep and developing a sense of self worth that is not founded in my production and external success. I've learned tools and developed a relationship with myself and my purpose that is grounded in trust, joy, and fun. I've learned to work differently. I get just as much done. (In fact, frequently, I get more done.) I just don't go to burn out anymore. It's wonderful.

It's time to share all this learning and these tools with you.

Anne and I are excited to announce an exciting new group coaching program, the Corporate Rebel Clarity U.

This group is for you if...

• You react instead of actively making decisions which leaves you feeling depleted and second-guessing your choices.
• Life and work feel chaotic and disjointed. You find yourself running from place to place, slamming out emails, and feeling like you're not actually accomplishing anything.
• You fall into the same ineffective patterns that have held you back for years.
• Every year you think, "This is the year things are going to be different." Then they are not different and you keep going with the same old, same old.

Starting in early October, you'll learn how to...

• Shake off negative patterns of thinking and behaving so you can stop holding yourself back. Your life will be calmer and work more fulfilling.
• Gracefully navigate transitions so you feel confident in the unknown and able to handle the changes that work and life throw at you.
• Ground yourself physically and spiritually to allow radical transformation. You will look back and wonder why you didn't address this stuff sooner.
• Wield your new, portable Toolbox of Skills so you're ready to take action, make choices, and be in control of your career and life.
• Get clear about what you want and bravely take action toward making your goals real.

We'd love to chat to see if The Corporate Rebel Clarity U Coaching Group is a good fit to help you put work and life on your terms. This link will take you to Christina's personal calendar to schedule a casual 30-minute chat. We'll talk about what's going on in your life, develop a solution or two, and determine whether our group program is the right next step.

You can also hit reply to this email to set up a time in the next few week or reach out to Christina or Anne privately with questions or inquiries.

christina@boydsmithcoaching.com

annelippin@gmail.com

We'd love to work with you. Truly.

With Rebel Hugs,

Christina

P.S. Are you ready to take action in your life? Let's talk! Click this link to choose a 30-minute spot on my calendar. We'll talk about what's going on and whether Corporate Rebel Clarity U is a good fit.

P.P.S. We are hosting the Corporate Rebel Clarity U Coaching Group online so you can participate from anywhere in the world.

P.P.P.S. Invite your friends to join you. Simply forward this email to them. They can sign up to chat here.

Why You Can Stop Worrying About Your Career

Time to read: 2:19.26 minutes

At camp, being…well…campy.

This summer, while I was working at my children's summer camp, I offered pro-bono coaching to the staff. After 30-hours of early morning sessions with a group of 19-26-year-olds, I started to notice patterns. Then, when considering my MBA, private and corporate clients, I realized there is an arch to the career journey characterized by age and phase of life. Daily, I hear people worrying about their careers and life choices. My goal today is to reassure you whether this is your first rodeo or your one-hundredth.

(Note: I'm not a huge fan of reducing individual experience to a one-size-fits all label so know that as I share these observations with you, the boundaries are fuzzy, and professional and personal experiences are as unique as you are.)

Age 19 - mid to late 20s: Exploration. If you are in this age group, you are likely laying awake a night worrying that you don't know what you want to be or if you should marry the guy or dump him, or if you will ever be able to afford a house. These early years of career development are fraught with worry and doubt.

My message? Have fun! Explore! Try some stuff. Work at a ski resort. Deliver pizza in New Zealand. Apprentice yourself to that scientist in the woods. Trust yourself.

Bottom line: Stop worrying.

Age 25 - late 20s (or if you're like me, early 30s): Roots. If you are here, you are starting to wonder about settling down. Living in one place starts to seem more attractive than seasonal employment and traveling all the time. Not surprisingly, as your perspective shifts, you start to find potential life partners. You might be hungry to get a career started and work, work, work. This is a great age to be a consultant or to have a job with lots of travel. You might be worrying if you are ready for commitments and responsibility.

My message? Embrace the change in perspective. Put down those roots. Make choices. If you're chomping at the bit to work, then work. Nothing is set in stone. You can always change direction. Trust yourself.

Bottom line: Stop worrying.

Age mid-30s to mid to late 40s: Complexity. Before this phase, you think you understand your priorities (career!). Then you have kids. Or your parents get sick. Or you get laid off. Or something else interrupts your perfect plan. Life gets complex, and your priorities start to shift again. If you are in this phase, you are likely worrying if you have invested too many years in the wrong job or if you should stay home with your children or if you will ever get that promotion or if you should try for an overseas assignment or if you are saving enough for retirement.

My message? Get back in touch with your values. Learn to live with increasing uncertainty. Be intentional in your choices. Make choices. Don't just stumble along doing what you think you're supposed to. Trust yourself.

Bottom line: Stop worrying.

Age late 40s to late 50s or early 60s: Confidence. If this is you, you likely care a lot less what people think. You're clearer about your gifts and are using them in the world. If you are a career professional, you've developed a level of expertise - even if that expertise spans many different specific job descriptions (like me). You're getting wiser. And calmer. Some things may be shaken up or re-negotiated - divorce, kids getting older, getting reconnected to past hobbies and interests. You might worry if you even remember who you are anymore.

My message? Get close with your gifts. Don't be afraid to be brave about necessary life changes. Own what you love. Be who you are. Trust yourself.

Bottom line: Stop worrying.

Mid to late 60s and 70s. Letting go. I rely on dear friends and mentors for anything I know about this phase. If you're here, your relationship to work as you've known it is shifting. You're excited about the prospect of well-earned freedom even as you worry about your identity and can't wait to purge your house. For some, the temptation to cling to a professional identity over-powers the potential expansion of possibilities making the transition to this powerful phase of life more difficult.

My message? Keep going! Have fun! Embrace the possibilities of a newly wide-open playing field. Invest your energy in the things that are most important to you.

Bottom line: Stop worrying.

Here's your challenge: Can you can find the point of this article?

Rebel love to you!

Christina

P.S. Do you have a friend who is fretting about one of these career phases? Share the love with them by forwarding this email. They can sign up to join us right here.

5 Ways to Be an Awesome Newbie!

Time to read: Just under one little minute. You have errands to run!

Now this is new: S'mores ice-cream cone with GLITTER!

OMG. Has summer already ended? If you have kids starting school and even if you don't, can you feel that fall, back-to-school energy? Things feel more serious. Like we're all settling in and getting back to a routine.

My kids started a new school on Monday. They know no one and believe me, this Corporate Rebel Mama's heart has been very tender this week. We have lots of rebels starting new ventures like new jobs (hey Rick!) or living in new locations (shout out to you, Audrey!) or experimenting with new ways to do old jobs (Dean!).

There is newness in the air!

New possibilities.

A new start. (Even if you're in the same job, in the same company.)

A new year.

As we get to know the new community and routine at our new school, I'm noticing a few things that are helping me through these tender days. I share them with you as you embark on your new fall. Here are 5 ways to be new:

1. Have a sense of adventure. Rather than focusing on all the things you don't have or can't do, lean into the adventure of a new job, project or school with all the fascination, wonder, and curiosity you would bring to an international vacation.
2. Be humble. In our new school, I know very little about how things work. It's a steep learning curve and for a woman who is used to knowing everything that's going on, it's humbling to be at the beginning again. Stopping in humility every so often in your life is a very good thing. It's a great reset button to remind you to keep learning.
3. Be open. Be open to new relationships and experiences. You have no idea where an opportunity or new friend is going to come from.
4. Ask for help. Many times, you won't even have to ask. Help will just be available to you. In either case, be humble and take advantage of it.
5. Stay in your discomfort zone. It's ok to be uncomfortable. In fact, it's marvelous to be uncomfortable. In the discomfort, you stretch. You learn new things about yourself. You discover new opportunities. And it will pass. Believe me, I'm uncomfortable a lot these days.

So, welcome to fall, beautiful rebels. Feels like it's going to be a smashing year!

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. As part of doing lots of new things this fall, I am going to be interviewed on the What's NEXT webcast with Jason Lauritsen. He's interviewing leaders who bring innovation and positive disruption to the workplace - like me! The webcast is September 5 at 1:00 ET. It will be recorded if you can't make the event live. Join here and invite your friends. They are welcome to join, too!

3 Hot Tips for Spring Cleaning

Time to read: So you have more time to clean off your desk, this will take 1 minute and 10 seconds to read!

Junk, er, treasures for my friend's thrift store

Hello Rebels!

You may be wondering, "why the heck is she talking about spring cleaning on the Corporate Rebel?" Good question with a good answer:

1. It's spring! Celebration time! Do you really need another reason to purge your closet?
2. Even though I don't sell a purging and organization service, I'm a nut for the subject... like... I read books about decluttering, advise my friends on how to clean off their desks, and use the chance to clean off our stairs as a reward for doing my work. (Guess where I'm headed after writing this newsletter?)
3. With all the new energy of spring, it's time to clean out the cobwebs and the junk that has piled up all winter. Literally and figuratively.
4. I am a strong believer that purging out old stuff clears stale energy and invites fresh juju for inspiration and creating in your work and life. (Remember how much you want to put work and life on your terms? Don't let your crap hold you back!)

Here are my three favorite ways for getting the s&*% out:

1. Make a game (I'm serious here) of getting rid of stuff. If you can only fit so many mugs on the shelf, some of them must go.
2. Fundraise. Choose a cause to donate to or something you want to do with the money. Then channel your inner 12-year-old into raising the money by selling the stuff you're unloading. My son's old clothes are going to buy an apple tree.
3. Choose a destination for your stuff. If you know your donations are going to a refugee family or to help someone learn work skills, you will dig deeper and purge more.
4. OK, I said three tips. You get four. Purge a little at a time. Nothing kills the fun more than the urgent and stressful feeling that you have to clean out every closet this Saturday!

So, what will you purge to open space for your inspiration and creation? I'd love to see a photo of your pile of crap. As always, you can hit reply to this email to share!

Happy de-cluttering.

Christina

P.S. If you have a friend or colleague who needs to purge their junk, forward these tips to them. They can join the Corporate Rebel party right here.

Do You Wish For a Free Lunch? You Can Have It!

Mmmmm…..lunch!

You've heard the adage, "there's no such thing as a free lunch," right?

IMHO this is a rather cynical perspective that there is an ulterior motive behind acts of generosity and kindness, especially from a corporation. I am happy to report that there actually is a free lunch, literally. And I'm going to help you find your free lunch, even if it doesn't come in the form of food.

I am coaching and doing team development for a company that actually offers free lunch. For all their employees. Like, you walk into their cafeteria and fill your plate with fresh salad, hot soup, entrees and soft serve ice cream. As much as you want, for FREE. I've never seen anything like it in all my corporate years!

Munching on some delicious chicken salad got me thinking about you.

Sometimes it's hard to see the free lunch that is right in front of you. I know. I know. Some of you are going to write to me and say that you pay for your "free lunch" with your time and talent. (I count on hearing from you!)

Of course, you do. That is the employment contract. You work. We pay you.

Consider this: You can choose to see the benefits of that contract through a lens of scarcity and cynicism (i.e. what you don't get, what you deserve and are not getting, how you are stuck) or you can see it from generosity and gratitude (i.e. how your life is easier, "I can't believe I get _____!" How you are always free to make a different choice.)

Here are some contenders for your free lunch. See if one of these is yours or sparks your gratitude cells:

• You can visit the doctor whenever you want because you have health insurance. Even better if the company covers your family. (As someone who was self insured for many years, I can tell you the free lunch of insurance is pretty awesome.)
• You have the flexibility to leave the office for appointments or your child's holiday pageant.
• You get to work out during the day.
• You get bonuses or spot awards or cool little gifts for years of service.
• Paid professional development.
• Affinity groups.
• Great colleagues.
• Collaboration.
• Making a contribution in your industry.
• Selling a product and/or service that brings people pleasure and/or changes lives.

Sometimes in the bustle and stress of working life, it's easy to stop seeing the generous and kind things that happen to you every day. What free lunch is right in front of you?

Have a great week!

Christina

P.S. If you love the Corporate Rebel Unplugged Video Podcast and Newsletter, please share it with some friends. Next week you'll get an interview with a woman who will show you how easy it is to live and work from pure joy, even when things are hard. Your friends can join our merry little tribe here.