How Wide is Your Shadow?

Time to read: 33 seconds

I drew this. I have never drawn anything in my life and lately, I've discovered the wonders of drawing.

Here's my skinny on leadership: Leaders take responsibility for their world. Everyone is a leader 24/7. That means you. All the time.

Why am I talking about leadership today?

You are a leader…at the office (regardless of your role), at the grocery store, in your family, and in your community. Each of us is responsible for our corner of the universe, and part of my leadership is helping you define your world and learn to take ownership of it. Your shadow combined with the other 2999 Corporate Rebel shadows adds up to an awful lot of goodness in the world.

That matters. A lot.

And we've been tired. Exhausted even. Taking responsibility for even one more thing has felt impossible. And, we're creeping back. Slowly. I invite you to consider one small way that you can take more ownership/responsibility for your corner of the world. Here are some ideas:

  • Have that hard conversation to clean up an important relationship.
  • Examine the places you are short-tempered and address them.
  • Rest so you have good energy for your life and work
  • Create something

I haven't had the energy to create anything new for close to two years. (Remember all the great free offerings at the beginning of the pandemic? Daily calls. Short courses. Oh, how I miss seeing you.) I've taken responsibility for many corners of my world and finally, I have bandwidth to create again. For YOU!

Next week I'm announcing something awesome, and free, and meaningful, and awesome, and free for you. Bear with me for a few weeks. I'm excited to finally have something to give you. You're gonna get an email or two about this. Watch your inbox next week. It's coming!

 

Be A Mess…Be A Leader

Time to read: 2 minutes. Regardless of your official role, you are a leader 24/7

Ten years ago I participated in a year-long leadership program that changed my life. During the first of four on-site retreats, our leaders said, "let yourself be shattered." They meant...move through the world open-hearted, let things touch you, when there's pain, feel it. Doing so builds empathy, compassion, resilience and trust.

Allowing yourself to be shattered builds your capacity to flow with life as it is and to lead others through inevitable ups and downs. (You are a leader 24/7 regardless of your official work role.)

The alternative is denial and resisting what's real. That's a recipe for exhaustion, hardness, and separation.

Volodymyr Zelensky's speech before the US Congress yesterday was shattering. Clients and friends have family and business colleagues in Ukraine. Events in the world impact you at work directly (your company has an office in Ukraine) and indirectly (your heart is broken).

What does it mean to be shattered on the path to powerful leadership?

  1. 1. Witness: The tendency is to look away when terrible things happen. To avoid eye contact when someone is escorted out of the office with their stuff or to avoid the news. It's important to witness what's real, even when you can't do anything about it. Seeing and acknowledging pain breeds connection and keeps you human. Witnessing isn't about punishing yourself with every detail. It's about knowing you have the capacity to help hold what's true.

    2. **As a leader your job isn't to make everything pretty and positive all the time. It's to steer your people effectively through ups and downs. Build your capacity.

  2. 2. Feel your feelings Become facile at experiencing your feelings. Let your emotions flow through you like the weather so you can release them. If you don't, they clog your energy and make it hard to move forward. I recommend doing this alone or with a close friend or partner. Experiencing your feelings is for yourself, not something to impose on others.

    3. **As a leader, you are responsible for your emotions. Unprocessed emotions come out as unintentional and often unhelpful reactions. Being facile with your emotions will make you authentic, trustworthy, and effective.

  3. 3. It's ok to be a mess: You hold up so many people - your spouse, children, employees, parents, friends. It's easy to feel that if you fall apart, they will fall apart. Give yourself permission to be a mess. The truth is, it won't last as long as you fear and the relief and freedom on the other side are worth it.

    4. **As a leader, moving through your shattering enables you to be clean in your decisions and relationships. Trying to be in control never works.

  4. 4. Live! A number of clients have said they feel guilty about what they have when people in Ukraine are suffering. Think about a time when something terrible happened to you. Did you want those around you to suffer, too? Would their suffering have alleviated your pain? Suffering and pain are an unfortunate reality of being human. It's imperative that you live or we just compound suffering on suffering to all of our detriment.

    5. **As a leader, you serve as a role model for others. What you do and how you do it matters more than your words. Show your people what it means to live, even in shattering circumstances.

    It's hard to know what to say in circumstances like this. I hope this is helpful.

    If you are one of the many people who forward these emails to your friends and colleagues, please make sure they know they can sign up for this newsletter here.

    Be well.

 

It's About Building Your Capacity: Anna's Story

Time to read Anna's story: 1 minute, 36 seconds

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It's a great day to be a Corporate Rebel!

Meet Anna.

Anna's CIO tapped her for a big project. Leadership trusts her. The project is strategic level work, will have huge impact and stands to make a big difference to her company. It's a plum opportunity and will set her career well into the future. Anna's excited.

And scared. As she put it, "It's lots of opportunity and lots of pressure." When Anna and I talked, she said, stress wakes her up at night, causes her to second-guess her every move, diminishes her focus, and makes her short-tempered. "Daunting" and "freaking out" describe how she feels.

Anna was relieved when I explained what was going on. She has the skills and experience. This is the perfect next step for her. And in order to keep up with the next step in her career, it's time for her to build her capacity. She joined Clarity U as investment in her capacity - her ability to trust herself, show up as a powerful leader, make efficient decisions, and streamline her personal efficiency and effectiveness so she feels confident in her new role. Her main goal? Knock this opportunity out of the park.

Here's what happens in a forward moving career:

You are given opportunities (or you seek opportunities) then you have to grow your capacity in order to succeed. Once your capacity grows, new opportunities arise. It's a toggle back and forth onward and forever. The problem is, capacity-building gets left off the table which results in over-working, stress, second-guessing, fear of failure, and control - behaviors which will either ensure your failure or leave you burned out and exhausted from striving to prove yourself.

Clarity U invites you to get off the hamster wheel of proving yourself and instead, build the internal beliefs and qualities that enable you to make powerful choices toward the career and life you want. Increased capacity = more opportunity.

Do you feel like you need one more certification to get to that next level? Do you sense a gap between where you are and where you want to be? I invite you to consider Clarity U. Let's talk ASAP. The door closes on October 21 at 12:00 CT (the time of our first session).

I have cleared time on October 19 and 20. Please choose a 30-minute spot on my personal calendar here. If none of these times work for you, please email me, and we'll find a time. If your intrigued, I want you get the information you need in order to take your next powerful step - whether that's Clarity U. Or not.

The cohort is filled with people like Anna who have declared themselves ready to create their future. Ready to join them?

I look forward to connecting. Choose a time here.

(And I know Clarity U is not for everyone. If you're, like, let's get back to the regular newsletters, We will. We're back to regular Corporate Rebel programming on October 22.)

I can't wait to connect.

Christina

 

What's the Common Denominator In Your Stress?

Time to Read: 1 minute, 38 seconds (maybe two minutes if you read every detail to the bottom)

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Hello Rebels!

In my late 20s, I got a PhD. While writing my dissertation, I ate at strange hours, stayed up late, and became crabby and unreliable to my friends and loved ones. Once I graduated, I ran from becoming a professor. I never wanted to repeat the pattern of behavior that burned me out so thoroughly.

So, I went into business. The corporate world was a great fit. I loved the stimulation and the people problems in my HR and Compliance roles. Then the company got acquired, the industry was being overhauled by the government, and I was involved in creating a significant cultural change in our sales and marketing practices. I was staying up all hours and became crabby with my children and unreliable to my friends. I quit and vowed never to take another corporate job because I was exhausted and burned out. (Hmmm... Are you seeing a pattern yet? At the time, I didn't.)

So, I got retrained as a coach and started my own business. I was my own boss, could set my own hours, and determine my own priorities. Three years into my coaching business, I launched a big project and became crabby and unreliable and once again, burned myself out so thoroughly, I literally had to lay on the couch for a week.

At that point I was like, "wait… a… minute. I'm in my own business. I can do things however I like, and I'm still burning myself out. Damn it. The common denominator is me."

Insert wake up call.

Can you relate?

Do you see a pattern that you repeat again and again even when you are sure that changing the circumstances (job, marriage, location, weight) will fix it? Maybe you don't see the pattern, and you simply find yourself stuck in the same situation over and over.

Personal experience taught me that changing the circumstances fixes it for a few months or a couple of years and then you find yourself watching the same movie and wondering how it happened again.

I've spent the past two years diving deep and developing a sense of self worth that is not founded in my production and external success. I've learned tools and developed a relationship with myself and my purpose that is grounded in trust, joy, and fun. I've learned to work differently. I get just as much done. (In fact, frequently, I get more done.) I just don't go to burn out anymore. It's wonderful.

It's time to share all this learning and these tools with you.

Anne and I are excited to announce an exciting new group coaching program, the Corporate Rebel Clarity U.

This group is for you if...

  • You react instead of actively making decisions which leaves you feeling depleted and second-guessing your choices.
  • Life and work feel chaotic and disjointed. You find yourself running from place to place, slamming out emails, and feeling like you're not actually accomplishing anything.
  • You fall into the same ineffective patterns that have held you back for years.
  • Every year you think, "This is the year things are going to be different." Then they are not different and you keep going with the same old, same old.

Starting in early October, you'll learn how to...

  • Shake off negative patterns of thinking and behaving so you can stop holding yourself back. Your life will be calmer and work more fulfilling.
  • Gracefully navigate transitions so you feel confident in the unknown and able to handle the changes that work and life throw at you.
  • Ground yourself physically and spiritually to allow radical transformation. You will look back and wonder why you didn't address this stuff sooner.
  • Wield your new, portable Toolbox of Skills so you're ready to take action, make choices, and be in control of your career and life.
  • Get clear about what you want and bravely take action toward making your goals real.

We'd love to chat to see if The Corporate Rebel Clarity U Coaching Group is a good fit to help you put work and life on your terms. This link will take you to Christina's personal calendar to schedule a casual 30-minute chat. We'll talk about what's going on in your life, develop a solution or two, and determine whether our group program is the right next step.

You can also hit reply to this email to set up a time in the next few week or reach out to Christina or Anne privately with questions or inquiries.

christina@boydsmithcoaching.com

annelippin@gmail.com

We'd love to work with you. Truly.

With Rebel Hugs,

Christina

P.S. Are you ready to take action in your life? Let's talk! Click this link to choose a 30-minute spot on my calendar. We'll talk about what's going on and whether Corporate Rebel Clarity U is a good fit.

P.P.S. We are hosting the Corporate Rebel Clarity U Coaching Group online so you can participate from anywhere in the world.

P.P.P.S. Invite your friends to join you. Simply forward this email to them. They can sign up to chat here.

 

The Lies You Believe And The Truth Behind Them

Time to read: 1 minute, 36 seconds

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Hello Rebels!

One of my clients (let's call her Stacy) called me dreading her mid-term review. She hated the fact that her VP didn't understand her department's role and even worse, he didn't seem to care. She felt like she spent her precious one-on-one time justifying her work, explaining why it mattered, and trying to convince him to care. She didn't know what he wanted and found their conversations frustrating and discouraging.

Does this sound familiar in your corporate job?

Stacy and I talked about the one thing she could control - herself. She believed a number of lies, and those lies were holding her back. We uncovered the truth and prepped her to step powerfully into her review.

Try these on:

The lie: She has to justify herself and her team's work.

The truth: You have nothing to justify. You get to have your passions, and your passion is not diminished if your boss doesn't share your level of excitement. Your job is to share your excitement and help your boss come along.

The lie: She needs her boss's validation for her leadership to be worthy and her team's work to be valuable.

The truth: Your success as a leader does not come from your boss's validation. It comes from how you show up, the way you manage your team, and the way you hold yourself as a powerful leader. Going in apologetic or pleading is not empowering. Instead, know your value and tell the story of your team's success.

The lie: That her boss doesn't care.

The truth: Your boss cares a great deal. He/She may care about different things than you do. As a direct report, your job is to figure out what keeps your boss up at night and how your work fits into the big picture your boss has to manage.

The lie: There's nothing she can do.

The truth: You always have more influence than you think you do. Stacy wanted to know what her boss needed from her so instead of guessing, she asked him. He told her what he needed, and she emailed me to say, "It was a great conversation. THANK YOU!!!!!"

Stacy moved from being her own worst enemy (believing in her lack of power, apologizing and justifying herself) to being her own best friend. She walked into her review powerful and in charge. That changed everything.

If you want a dose of this kind of power, join me and my BFF for our Corporate Rebel Rethinking U Webinar on August 20th at 11:00 am CT. You can register here.

Can't wait to see you on the inside!

Christina

P.S. Did you love the Quiet the Noise Challenge? Do you have friends who could use a little dose of positivity and hope in their corporate job? Invite them to join you for the Rethinking U Webinar on August 20 at 11:00 am CT. Send them here. You'll be glad you spent the hour with us.

 

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Leadership lessons at the lobby coffee pot

Leadership lessons at the lobby coffee pot

Last week, I was in San Diego for strategy meetings with my business mastermind (i.e. my coach and business peeps). Being from Minnesota, I was awake every morning at 5:00 while my CA roomies were still asnooze in their beds. Luckily, the hotel served tea very, very early so I found my way to the lobby each morning to grab some caffeine and catch up on email.

At the coffee pot, I met a hotel employee, Luis. One morning, I commented to Luis that he seemed to really enjoy his job. This is what he said, "I love working here. We don't have bosses. We have leaders. They don't just sit in their offices and order us around. They come out here to help us."

Luis got me thinking about you. We've established in the past two weeks that you are a leader regardless of your role. Many of you are also bosses. If you are a great leader, you will also be a great boss. We've all had great bosses. (If you haven't, call me now!)

It doesn't work the other way around. We've all known or worked for sucky bosses who weren't leaders (that NEVER happened to me in my corporate days).

Luis pointed out important differences between the two so you can see where you (and your boss) are behaving as leaders or, ugh, as bossy-pants:

  1. Bosses sit in their corner offices and tell people what to do. Leaders inspire the team.
  2. Bosses have positional power and use it. Leaders have power by virtue of respect, trust, and affection.
  3. Bosses micromanage and want everything done "right." Leaders delegate and play to people's strengths.
  4. Bosses take credit. Leaders give credit and praise generously and often.
  5. Bosses stand in the limelight. Leaders fade so that other people can have success and attention for their accomplishments.

Think of leaders you've loved and bosses you've hated. What can you learn about your own leadership (or bossy-ness) from them?

Lead on!

Christina