Do You Feel Free Or Like A Hostage?

Time to read: So short and so relevant

FREE!

When you look around your career, do you feel free or do you feel like a hostage? As you assess this question, here are some hints:

Hostage:

• Your happiness and fulfillment are tied to (fill in the blank), your compensation, performance appraisal, raise, promotions, kudos from your boss. If you feel like you're constantly chasing the cookie, then you're trapped on a hamster wheel you feel you can't stop.
• You constantly think about making a change but never do.
• You feel like the risks of change (quitting your job, changing your perspective, seeing a therapist or coach) are more terrifying than putting up with the way things are.
• You wrestle with the same stress, decision point, or situation on repeat.

Free:

• You enjoy what you do (most days) and feel like you make a difference, to your coworkers, company, those you serve.
• You know that no matter the circumstances, you choose every day to be wherever you are.
• You feel like your work uses the best parts of you. You may be exhausted sometimes, and it's the "well used" kind of exhausted.
• Your work supports and balances well with the other parts of your life...family, free time, hobbies, health, rest.
• The balance of your life feels right to you. Even if that means you work 80 hours a week or you have all the free time in the world.

What I want for each of you is to feel free. Free doesn't mean nothing but free time or no work. It means that you feel like you have agency to craft your days through the lens of your priorities, style, and desires.

This summer, this newsletter is going to be a short and easy weekly challenge to help you feel more free. You don't have to sign up. You already are.

Invite your friends. They can join the summer challenge by signing up for my newsletter here.

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Practices That Change The World #3

Time to read: 56 seconds

My daughter and I made this Yule Log. We really did. So proud.

In a conversation with a friend last week, I gave our family's winter break a B-. Moments were an A+ and other times definitely a D. On balance, a B- seemed about right.

I felt fine with this assessment, and the thought continued to roll around in my head. Then I realized, I was measuring the break from the standpoint of comfort and joy. However, if I looked at our break from the standpoint of growth, learning and connection, it was an A+++++.

Which brings me to Changing the World Practice #3.

Shift the lens

Consider these examples:

• You judge yourself harshly for the resentment you felt when the work of hosting fell to you. Shift the lens: Drop the resentment and see the situation as a lesson in setting boundaries and owning your preferences.
• A work colleague didn't make your request a priority. Now you're angry and behind in a project. Shift the lens: Your colleague also has a full plate of conflicting priorities and is doing the best they can. This is an opportunity for you to grow yourself as someone who speaks up while maintaining connection.
• Someone cut you off in traffic, and you want to flip them off. Shift the lens: You have no idea what's happening in that person's life. They could be racing to the hospital or late for a job interview after months of unemployment. It's not worth it to put one ounce of energy into things that happen in traffic.

It's so easy to slip into blame and judgment of yourself and others. When you shift your lens, a whole new world of possibilities opens up and your days get much easier.

Thoughts? Comments? Email me here I love to hear from you.

My Solution For Everything

Time to read: 1 minute, 15 seconds

When life presents you with a problem, the temptation is to do something - schedule the meeting, email the teacher, buy the product, make the phone call, have the conversation.

I'm a recovering over-doer, and I've discovered that there's a more effective path forward.

Do nothing.

This isn't a lazy, avoidance version of do-nothing. Instead, it's a powerful choice that enables life and work to flow smoothly. Often, the fast response is motivated by avoiding discomfort. When you learn to ride the discomfort and then act from a cleaner, clearer place, your action is easier, takes less energy, and yields more effective outcomes.

Here are my favorite strategies to help you powerfully do nothing:

• Pause. Even if it's only for a few seconds. Pausing allows your brain to come back online and buys you time when you don't know what to do next or how to respond. It's ok to sit in silence.
• Wait. This is a souped-up version of pause. When you wait, things shift over time. You get clear. Circumstances change. When I wait, the solution presents itself without any effort and is usually much easier than whatever I would have done if I charged into doing.
• Meditate. Mediation takes doing nothing to a whole new level. Worried about Covid? Meditate. Kid failed a test? Meditate. Deciding to quit your job? Meditate. Meditation is my go-to answer for everything these days. You'll be amazed at the wisdom you find when you sit quietly for 15 minutes.

In October, I met a woman who works in emergency management. She has seen and planned for any terrible scenario you can Imagine. She said when it comes to emergencies people think the right mindset is,"Don't just stand there, DO something!" Experts, however, teach, "Don't just do something, STAND there!" Standing there, she explained, enables to you look around, assess the situation, and proceed intentionally.

Exactly.

Do nothing on the path to more intention.

I'd love to hear about your experiments with doing nothing. Email me and let me know.

Do This Tiny Thing #4

Time to read: 26 seconds

Hiking in the snow

This week's tiny thing is really fun.

Novelty.

Your brain thrives when you do new things. That doesn't mean that everything in your daily life needs to be new. It simply means give your brain new challenges.

Here are some ideas to jog your thinking:

• Play a game.
• Drive a new route home from work.
• Explore an unfamiliar area of town.
• Cook something you've never made.
• Read a book in a genre you don't usually choose.
• Rearrange your furniture.

Novelty exposes you to new ideas. It helps you make connections you might not otherwise make. It keeps your brain stimulated, fresh and creative.

Share your creative ideas in the Corporate Rebel HQ Facebook group. Comment or join here.

Have a great weekend.

Want More Opportunity?

Time to read: 26 seconds

Toggle Back and Forth

Hello!

Here are things I regularly hear from new clients:

• "I've been promoted to a big new job and feel under water."
• "I feel stuck in the same old, same old and am not sure how to move forward."
• "I'm excited about my new role and am not sure what to do."

I see a predictable pattern in careers whether you are a vice-president, business analyst, academic, entrepreneur, or teacher. Your growth as a person and your career opportunities toggle back and forth.

• When you take on a new role, your development has to catch up.
• Once your capacity expands, new opportunities appear.

On an ideal career path, you know when your role has grown past your capacity (and it's time to build more) and when your capacity has grown beyond your role.

I'm sure you've worked with bosses whose growth stalled after a promotion and never grew effectively into leadership. These folks become ineffective and frustrating leaders.

You probably also know people who stayed too long in a role that was too small for their capacity. These folks complain a lot, become "over cooked," and burn out.

Self-awareness is key to avoiding either of these extreme and undesirable outcomes. Take a look at your career today. Are you in a capacity building phase in order to stretch into your role or are you starting to feel itchy to expand your opportunities?

Knowing where you are will help you invest your time and effort wisely to get the outcomes you want. Managing this toggle will keep your career in balance and keep you on a path of momentum and fulfillment.

Make sense?

Have a great week!

Do you choose work? Or life? Or both? Ack!

It's short. One minute tops!

My daughter, choosing NOT have her energy sucked by a photograph.

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to the Boyd-Smiths, real or imagined, is purely fictional.

Imagine this morning: You were up in the middle of the night with a sick child. A text awaited from a dear friend wanting to chat about something. You are preparing a presentation. Even this morning, you might be recreating something because you had a better idea (like, for example, this newsletter) while your kids are getting ready for school and the dog is whining for her breakfast.

Ack! Work/Life Balance!

Can you relate?

Here's the thing, sometimes managing work/life balance is a minute-to-minute affair.

There is so much more to say on this subject and for today, think about how you choose to use your precious time and energy in each minute. Here are some examples to get you started:

A sick child. Yes seems like a good choice. You can motor through the next day a little tired. Not ideal but workable.

For those of you who know me personally, you know that I would love to do nothing more than yack with a friend. In fact, it's my favorite hobby (and honestly, avoidance tactic). To stay focused, sometimes you have to counter-offer with support that will take less time. And tell your friend how much you love her and be transparent about what's going on.

Create a new newsletter? This choice is a toss-up. Depends on your priorities, timing, and what else is going on. In this case, I can ignore that my son is eating Cheetos for breakfast and watching YouTube. The commitment to get quality content to you each Thursday, is non-negotiable.

Get dressed? Later. No one cares if you drop off at carpool in your PJs.

This, my friends, is what wild, weird, dynamic and real life balance looks like. Really and truly.

And now, I must return to preparing next week's presentation. Besides client sessions, YOU are my #1 focus today.

I hope this helps.

Christina

Rebels Know a Little Something About Balance

For a couple of weeks, I’ve been all jacked up (gory description coming below). You see, I’m a great doer. I get things done like nobody’s business. And if I’m not paying attention, my sense of being goes out the window.
 
Being? What’s that?
 
Being is keeping a focus on who you are in the world. It’s how you show up. How you are being. Being and doing: you need to choose both to be successful, balanced, and happy. (That’s the punch line so you can stop reading right here. Except there's more.)
 
Allow me to engage two extremes to make the point.
 
Some of my friends and clients default to the being side of things. They are deeply tuned in. And sometimes, they get lost in the airy, fairy beauty of the world or of their emotional experience.  When they are lost in the being, it’s hard to get things done, to focus, and to keep commitments to themselves and others.
 
Then there are those of us (me!) who default to doing. Pedal to the metal, get things done, check things off the to-do list because, by god, my self-worth is tied to being productive. If we don’t stay organized, it makes all kinds of statements about who we are as people.
 
I wouldn’t be a coach if I didn’t have strategies for how to balance these two energies because remember the punch line? We need both! And man, I need both like a fish needs water.

1. Recognize which side is your default. Are you more of a constant doer or a committed be-be? (See the descriptions above if you need hints).

2. Learn the signs that you are out of balance. Gory description: when I’m out of balance, my energy hovers in my chest, I get jumpy and constricted, I talk fast, and my family finds me not delightful.

3. Forgive yourself. (meaning, don’t add beating yourself up to a lack of balance) and gently invite yourself back on the balance horse.

4. Staying in balance requires conscious choice and discipline. Have a couple of simple practices that bring you back into balance.
 
For you be-bes: Do the one thing you’ve been avoiding or use your deep tuned-in place as a spring board for action grounded from your best tunest-iniest place.
 
For you do-ers: Go outside and sink your toes in the grass, restart (or start) your meditation practice, drive slowly, move consciously, and be intentional about connecting to your heart and soul.
 
Doing enables you to get stuff done, to bring your gifts to your world. Being enables you to be grounded, to have your actions mean something to you and to others.
 
You need both. And if you’re like most people, it takes intention to maintain balance.

Got it? I'm glad!
 
Christina
 
P.S. Will you share this newsletter on your Facebook page or your Twitter? Just click the buttons below and presto – the little computer fairies will carry the post right to your Facebook page.
 
P.P.S. If you need a balance practice, I highly recommend Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey’s meditation series. They have a new one starting on November 2. It’s free. It’s easy. It’s a daily dose of balance on a stick. Click here to check it out.