Practices That Change The World #10 - Part 2

Time to read: 55 seconds

Remember last week? Me yelling at the hotel clerk? Last week was Part 1: Recover. This is Part 2 of what to do when you've behaved in ways you're not proud of.

REPAIR

First let me say that humans are messy. That means that sometimes, other people will be messy. Other times, you will be messy, confused, hurt, angry, tired, frustrated, and you will lose your abilty to keep your confusion/anger/hurt /tired/frustration under wraps.

So, in any relationship, whether with a friend, or even in the case of a hotel clerk, REPAIR is crucial. To repair requires compassion, grace, forgiveness and a commitment to understanding that humans are messy, including yourself.

The temptation is to judge, hold impossibly high standards and walk away, writing the other person off as wrong, annoying, or as someone who deserved it. This is not a great framework for living in a world filled with other people.

I invite you to consider the power of repair....for what it does for you and for the other person.

Here's how repair works in the form of an apology.

An apology requires you to take ownership for yourself (if you are the one apologizing) and to receive the apology (if you are the one, well, receiving the apology).

Here is an ineffective apology:

Me: "Sorry I yelled. I just wanted you to not charge me for the room tonight (blame). I've had a hard week (justification)."

Hotel Clerk: Uh....um....

Let's try that again with an effective apology.

Me: I'm sorry I yelled at you.""

Hotel Clerk: "It's ok." (Notice the desire to make everything ok as quickly as possible except it's not actually ok because I haven't yet taken ownership.)

Me: "Actually, it's not ok. Please let me apologize. My behavior was out of line. You were doing your job and did not deserve to be treated like that. I'm sorry."

Hotel Clerk: "Thank you for apologizing. That isn't the worst thing that's going to happen to me today."

Me: "I'm sorry to hear that. It should be."

See? A win for self-compassion. Connection made. Relationship restored.

You are not expected to be perfect. You will mess up. You will hurt people. You will be messy. Welcome to being human.

P.S. If you love this newsletter, your friends and colleagues will, too. Anyone can sign up here.

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Practices That Change The World #3

Time to read: 56 seconds

My daughter and I made this Yule Log. We really did. So proud.

In a conversation with a friend last week, I gave our family's winter break a B-. Moments were an A+ and other times definitely a D. On balance, a B- seemed about right.

I felt fine with this assessment, and the thought continued to roll around in my head. Then I realized, I was measuring the break from the standpoint of comfort and joy. However, if I looked at our break from the standpoint of growth, learning and connection, it was an A+++++.

Which brings me to Changing the World Practice #3.

Shift the lens

Consider these examples:

• You judge yourself harshly for the resentment you felt when the work of hosting fell to you. Shift the lens: Drop the resentment and see the situation as a lesson in setting boundaries and owning your preferences.
• A work colleague didn't make your request a priority. Now you're angry and behind in a project. Shift the lens: Your colleague also has a full plate of conflicting priorities and is doing the best they can. This is an opportunity for you to grow yourself as someone who speaks up while maintaining connection.
• Someone cut you off in traffic, and you want to flip them off. Shift the lens: You have no idea what's happening in that person's life. They could be racing to the hospital or late for a job interview after months of unemployment. It's not worth it to put one ounce of energy into things that happen in traffic.

It's so easy to slip into blame and judgment of yourself and others. When you shift your lens, a whole new world of possibilities opens up and your days get much easier.

Thoughts? Comments? Email me here I love to hear from you.

Do This Tiny Thing #4

Time to read: 26 seconds

Hiking in the snow

This week's tiny thing is really fun.

Novelty.

Your brain thrives when you do new things. That doesn't mean that everything in your daily life needs to be new. It simply means give your brain new challenges.

Here are some ideas to jog your thinking:

• Play a game.
• Drive a new route home from work.
• Explore an unfamiliar area of town.
• Cook something you've never made.
• Read a book in a genre you don't usually choose.
• Rearrange your furniture.

Novelty exposes you to new ideas. It helps you make connections you might not otherwise make. It keeps your brain stimulated, fresh and creative.

Share your creative ideas in the Corporate Rebel HQ Facebook group. Comment or join here.

Have a great weekend.

Take This Quiz to Help You Get Back On Track

Time to take the quiz: 15 seconds. Time to read: 1.5 minutes. Time to refine your life: forever

Hey Corporate Rebels!

Before you read further, please take this quiz. Answer yes/no. Consider how you spend most of your time.

Do you feel well used at the end of the day? (This question considers a sense of purpose.)

Do you spend your day on things that are important to you? (This question highlights values and priorities.)

Do you spend your time with people who matter to you? (This question points to balance and connection.)

Do you enjoy yourself? (This question considers energy.)

Hold on to your answers for a second.

In the past few weeks, I have talked with professionals across industries and age-groups, from young scientists to seasoned real estate mavens to recent college graduates. In a word, people are restless. The past year stripped away most things (dating, sports, travel) and left many people with work, laundry, homeschooling, and if you were lucky, roommates you like.

When life was reduced to work and Netflix, many people starting asking, is this enough? When you just spent a year staring your mortality in the face, is this how you want to spend the next 10-20-50 years?

Most of you are probably not planning to quit your job and head out on the open road (although I have talked to quite a few in all age groups who are doing some version of that).

Some well timed and considered refinements will bring your work and life back into alignment with what you want.

Now back to the quiz.

If you answered yes to all four questions, awesome. You have crafted work and life on your terms.

If you answered no to any of the questions or if the questions made you wonder, consider what it would take to bring your work and life back on your terms. What can you refine? What can you ask for? What do you want to change?

Here are some ideas to start your thinking:

• fire up an old hobby
• ask to go part-time
• ask for summer hours (Fridays off?)
• teach a class
• be home for bedtime every night
• rest
• quit your job and head out on the open road

My partner, Anne and I are doing a free 4-session live event in May, June and July to help you recover from the past year and get your work and life realigned with where you are now. The Corporate Rebel Rebooting U: Recover, Refresh, Re-emerge starts May 21. You can get more information and sign up here.

Please join us!

Love to you!

What Should You Do In the Face of the Unknown?

Time to read: 1.15 minutes

This is my pantry. When things are out of control, I do food.

It's been a weird week.

That is the understatement of the century.

You're glued to the news. You wake up to new information each day. Guidelines and recommendations change minute to minute. Kids are home from school. You're working from home. It's confusing and stressful.

I've found it hard to know what to do or how to be.

Daily life has been stripped of all activity which brings us back to basics.

Here are four bedrock basics that provide a firm foundation when the world has gone haywire. I return to them again and again. I hope they give you comfort as this pandemic unfolds.

1. Connect. Most of you are working from home which can be isolating and lonely. Starting Thursday March 19, I'm hosting a daily call at 9:00 CT for 30 minutes so you have a place to touch base, ground, set intentions and connect with others. Sign up once and come whenever you can M-F through at least March 27. It's free. Sign up here.
   
   Please share this opportunity to connect with your friends and colleagues, especially people who live alone.


2. Be compassionate. There is and will be suffering and hardship. Your compassion and friendship matter when others are in pain. Be there for your friends and those you don't even know because that's who you are, and it's the right thing to do.


3. Be of service: In the face of interruption like a worldwide pandemic, gaps become visible. YOU can fill these gaps and find ways to be of service. Look for opportunities to step in.


4. Find ways to leverage your super powers. Find new ways to use your expertise. Offer your social media skills to help colleagues stay connected. Use your project management experience to help your department streamline processes when you're all at a distance. Think about skills that might not seem obvious.

Connection is what I do. So, please come connect with me and others every morning at 9:00 CT. Join here.

In the midst of crisis, interruption and change, you matter! You have the power to make a big difference. Find your spot to serve.

With rebel love,

Christina

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