I Can't Stop Talking About Decision Making!

Time to read: 1:12.56 min

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Hi Rebels!

Friends and clients are making big decisions this spring. I can't stop talking about decision-making, because it's a place where you can make your life so much easier. I'm going to share with you another nuance for efficient and effective decision-making, because as I witness the various processes, I'm reminded of one thing.

Life wasn't meant to be this hard.

I wrote a few weeks ago about gathering information and feeling your feelings. (If you want the full set of hot tips about decision-making, you can get them here.)

Today, I want to show you how to tune your antenna to open versus closed energy.

Have you ever experienced something like this?

You walk into an interview and things feel off. You don't connect with the interviewers. You don't like the building. Do you take the job or not?

You visit a house in a great neighborhood. The price is right. The location is good. It's new and pretty, and a good investment. Something feels funny. Logic says you should buy it. Should you?

In each of these situations, you are probably tempted to decide using your smart brain and logic. You are strong and can make anything work by motoring through.

OMG. No!

Stop the madness.

The truth is, you have an astute antenna for picking up energy. When something feels hard and stagnant, it might be that it isn't meant to be or you're stepping over something important. If you look back over times when you pushed past your antenna, you will probably see intolerable jobs, costly mistakes, and time wasted.

Let's relook at the situations above through the lens of energy and ease:

If you are making a choice like a job or getting a dog, feel into whether the options feel open or closed. Is the energy moving forward or feeling like a closed door? If the energy feels constricted, stale or random, don't take that job or get that dog. Go where the energy feels open and flowing, even if logically it seems like you should take that job.

Logic isn't the only driver in a decision. With something like a house, visit it again and ask yourself, "Is this my house?" Give the decision time. Then, be honest with yourself, even if your choice sounds illogical to your brain.

Your decisions will become much easier when you are honest with yourself about the energy in your options. You've got sharp antenna. Use them. Pay attention.

I hope this helps.

Christina

P.S. Are your friends and colleagues struggling with decisions like mine are? Help them out by forwarding this email to them. They can join us here.

 

The Secret to Effective, Efficient Decision-Making

Time to read: a wee bit over one minute

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I've been hearing from lots of people about big decisions they are making this week. Decision making can be daunting. It can produce anxiety and fear. You feel the risk of making the wrong decision and then facing the consequences forever.

See what you think of this common decision-making process:

  1. Gather all the information.
  2. Think about the information.
  3. Make a list of pros and cons to assess each option and determine which one is the best choice.
  4. Think more.
  5. Organize the information.
  6. Try to get more information.
  7. Look for more pros and cons, hoping to find the one that will make everything clear.
  8. Feel muddled and foggy and not sure what to do.
  9. Repeat steps 4 - 8 until you can't sleep.

Sound familiar? You go round and round, stressing out, and getting no closer to clarity until you make the decision through force or exhaustion.

This process is not effective and doesn't produce better results.

Gathering information is fine. The thinking bit is fine. Making a pros and cons list is fine too, but in many cases, it isn't actually going to help you make your decision. There's a point where no additional information is going to make the choice.

So, what's the secret to easier, more effective decision-making?

Here is everything you need to know to move you from muddled to clarity:

The secret: Leverage other ways of knowing. (I put this in bold in case you scrolled right to it.)

You have wisdom that goes beyond the facts and data, and here's how to access that wisdom:

  • Feel your feelings. Do you feel excited or defeated? Do you feel happy or trapped? Are you bored or full of possibility?
  • Listen to your intuition. Are you getting messages that say go or messages that scream "stop!" Does the door feel open or closed? Where do things feel ease-ful or hard?

This requires you to be very honest with yourself and sometimes to make decisions that don't make logical sense. (Remember when I told you I didn't publish a book even though a publisher went out of their way to talk to me? The decision to not publish didn't make logical sense from the standpoint of what I should do. And everything in me screamed, "no!")

You can use this tip for big decisions like which job to take or for small ones like what to do for dinner. The more you practice, the faster and clearer your decisions will become.

I hope this helps!

Christina

Do you know someone who is struggling with a decision? Hit forward on this email and share it with them. If they want more rebel-y tips and tricks for doing this thing called life and work, they can join us here.

 

4 Steps to Worry-Free Decision Making

Time to read: much less than two little minutes

Which direction should you go?

Which direction should you go?

Hello rebels!

Do you have decisions to make? Do you anticipate having decisions to make in the future? Do you feel an urgency to get to the right decision and get to it quick so you can move-on-to-the-next-thing-burning-on-your-to-do-list-so-you-can-focus-on-something-else entirely-already?!

Geez. That sense of urgency is not helpful! (I know this. Let me explain.)

Big decisions were made in our house this spring.

My daughter has been choosing a high school and my son has decided to switch schools at the same time. We've been part of the same tight school community for 9 years so this change is a big deal for all of us. Many times in this decision-making process, I have felt urgency to get information fast, weigh all the options, and finalize a decision so we can feel clear and certain and move on to other priorities.

And this process has offered me a few huge lessons about decision-making, which I happily share with you.

If you have a teenager, you'll understand this next bit. Despite my sense of urgency, there was no forcing my 14-year-old into a decision until she was good and ready. This story is a metaphor (in case you didn't notice, you are the 14-year-old). You can try to force a decision. You can talk about it until your friends stop returning your calls. You can live your worries in the middle of the night. You can obsess until the decision invades your dreams.

And the truth is, the decision will not get made until it is time to make it. When the deadline was approaching, my daughter flat-out refused to talk about school choice for a week. We had no option but to put the thing down. And, we had a deadline. Over a huge piece of cake (I'm a strategic mom), I told her it was go-time. I expected hang-wringing and worry about where her friends were going. Instead, she paused for 10 seconds, and said, "I'm going to XYZ school."

Done and done. The decision was filled with ease and joy.

I was shocked and delighted, and since I'm a coach who writes a weekly newsletter, I made note of what just happened so I could share it with you. When making a decision - big or small, here's what you need to know:

  1. Gather information, but just enough. In most cases, you will not land on the one piece of information that is going to make your decision for you so don't drive yourself crazy trying to find it.
  2. Fire up your intuition. Pay attention to how you feel about your options. Watch your dreams. Feel into the energy of the way you talk about your choices. (Do you feel expansive or constricted? Joyful or worried? Excited or sick?)
  3. Know your deadline or set a deadline for yourself. When you let a decision drag on and on, you're using it as an excuse to hide from the responsibility of actually making a decision. Don't do that. It's not fun, and hiding isn't going to get you anywhere.
  4. Give the decision space. Put it down. Stop talking about it. Let it go. In the quiet, you'll find the answer.

Oh, and I recommend cake. Cake helps everything go smoothly.

Rebel love to you

Christina

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