For Those Of You Who Are Burned Out, Stressed Out, And Tired

Time to read: One little minute or less

When you are stressed out, stuck, frustrated, maybe even angry, working crazy hours, falling into bed exhausted, feeling unmotivated or just plain burned out, what do you do?

As a first step, assess, what is the structure of your situation?

Within every circumstance, structural issues contribute to the experience you are having. Here is what I mean:

  • You operate within a matrixed reporting structure with many leaders giving direction. This creates confusion and makes determining priorities hard if not impossible.
  • Your role serves multiple stakeholders who have no visiblity to each other. They all believe they are the only one pulling on your time and talent.
  • Your industry has seasonal pushes, like tax time, a semester, or summer programming that pre-determine your annual schedule.
  • Your role is global so your colleagues are in Asia which means early morning meetings.

The bad news is that you have little influence over these structural issues. Of course you can advocate for changes, and if you put all your energy into trying to change the macro structures, you will deplete yourself.

The good news is that you have little influence over these structural issues. This means that you DO have agency over how you navigate a tricky structure, how you operate day-to-day, the ways you care for yourself, and frankly to decide if this structure is something you can tolerate, or not.

You always have choices.

It's not the structure that exhausts you. It's fighting the structure that exhausts you. Separate out the structural issues then look for places to claim your agency and power. You will find yourself with more energy and less stress.

I hope this helps!

 

Hitting a Wall? What Is Going On?

Time to read: short. You're tired and don't need more things to do.

Like this one

Like this one

About a week ago, I hit a wall... unmotivated, exhausted, crabby, unproductive, discouraged, and frustrated wall.

My family ate leftovers and take out. Emails went unanswered. Sleep was elusive. I could handle about one decision a day and if your need for my attention was the second or third decision that day, sorry, you'd have to wait till tomorrow.

Can you relate?

In the first few months of this pandemic, I was on fire. New programs for all of you. Cooking. Gardening. Reading. A new fish tank. Zoom calls. A few weeks ago, I published a list for the Corporate Rebel Masters (an ongoing community of people who have graduated from coaching) of the things I do to fill my energy bucket. It was an impressive and true list. If there is such a thing as winning in this pandemic, I was doing it. (Ha. My life's work to learn that my value isn't my accomplishments was apparent even in how I handle a pandemic. Can't a girl get a break?)

A few days ago, I couldn't imagine doing any of those things. Friends started calling in tears. Clients talked about low motivation and exhaustion. I was barely keeping up with the basics.

I'm eternally optimistic. I can see the silver lining in just about any cloud. A friend commented that it was disconcerting to see me be so dark when she counts on me for light.

What the heck is going on? I feared something was truly wrong with me that I wasn't coping better.

Then my friend sent this article. The term is "surge capacity." As you'll see from the psychological research the author cites, we humans are programmed to handle crises. We have resilience that enables us to handle acute stress and to surge our energy to meet it. However, that capacity is meant to be short term. We are not mentally programmed to manage a crisis that continues for months or even years.

We "surged," and now we're depleted.

Having a name for what happened to me was a great relief. I slept well last night and today, I can handle two decisions.

We're tired, folks. It's been a long road with no end in sight.

For the next few weeks, I am going to talk about how to recover and create resilience in new ways. Less accomplishment. More energy. You can get through this. You just need a different toolbox.

I'll be recovering right along with you. Please hit reply to this email and tell me how you're doing. If you're still riding high with energy, awesome. I'd love to hear what's working.

And stay tuned. I'm excited for something I have in store for you. I'll be ready to share next week.

With love,

Christina

P.S. A cool opportunity is coming next week. Keep your eyes open!

 

When Will Things Go Back To "Normal?"

Time to read: Less than one minute

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The short answer to the question is, it won't. "Normal" as we once knew it is never coming back. So in the face of upheaval, what is a Corporate Rebel to do?

Imagine these scenarios:

You don't like your boss. You complain about her and wake up every morning wishing you had a different boss.

or

You have a teen who doesn't talk to you about his life. You ask questions and dig for information but you never get any.

or

The company you work for has been acquired. The business is not doing well and your work days are chaotic. You hate it.

or

A viral pandemic is sweeping the planet and you are trying to work from home, maybe with little kids underfoot, worrying about your loved ones. You just want life to go back to "normal."

Each of these is an example of resistance. Resistance looks like this: wishing for something different and pushing to change things that never change. The energy of resistance puts tremendous stress on you and leaves you depleated.

So what is a rebel to do?

The answer is simple: Acceptance

Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. Accepting something means seeing the truth. It means understanding that something is what it is. Acceptance means getting honest about reality.

When you accept, you drop the fight. You free your energy. Once you accept things as they are, then you can find the path forward. Then you can find opportunity.

Acceptance in all things is one of my goals for 2020 and thank goodness as I've needed it a lot in the past few weeks.

Do this quick exercise: Consider a situation that makes you stressed... like... I don't know... being stuck at home trying to work while homeschooling your kids? Find one thing you can accept in the situation and truly, honestly accept it. Watch what happens.

Then email me and tell me all about it or post to the Corporate Rebel HQ. I love to hear from you.

I've been brainstorming how best to serve you during this challenging time and I'm working quickly on some free resources to help you be productive and calm while working from home.

Coming Soon! The Corporate Rebel's Unconventional Guide to Working from Home AND a Work from Home Challenge. Stay tuned!

The Corporate Rebel Daily, a free 30-minute check-in at 9:00 CT, has been tremendous. It's a positive start to your day and you are welcome to join anytime. Sign up once, join when you can.

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Love the Corporate Rebel? Invite your friends to join. They can join us here.

 

The way you spend your day….

Estimated read time: 1 minute

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I want to check in with you about how things are going in your job.

I know you struggle with burn-out, overwhelm, and what to do next. You keep thinking things will change if you just work harder, take on more responsibility or give the changes in your company more time. Being stuck is a total drag.

These struggles have me thinking about a funeral I attended for a colleague from my corporate days. He worked hard, sometimes staying at the office on Christmas Eve, traveling internationally, sacrificing for the company and putting many things off “until retirement.” The church was simultaneously crying and laughing hysterically at the stories his children told of the things their dad was finally doing in his retirement. He was just beginning to enjoy all the things he had worked for when he died 2 years in.

When I hear you say, “I’ll wait until next year. Maybe things will get better on their own,” or “I can put up with anything until my kids are out of college,” it breaks my heart. Time is short. Your life is valuable. The time to bring back joy, balance, health, and meaning is NOW. Retirement is too far away. Even next year is too far away.

This quote makes me think of you everyday:

How you spend your days is how you spend your life. ~Annie Dilliard

You are the one with the power to make things better for yourself. Waiting for your company to make things better for you is only going to make you another year older.

If you are:

  • waiting to see if things will get better on their own;
  • procrastinating on making a change because you’re scared of the financial consequences;
  • skeptical that things can ever be better in your job;
  • wishing you had the roadmap to professional fulfillment,

Let’s hop on the phone. Email me at christina@boydsmithcoaching.com to schedule a session with me.

I promise you they can be better. Don’t wait another year to create your life and work on your terms. The time to be happy at work is now.

We’ll spend 30 minutes creating an inspiring and empowering plan for things to be better NOW.

Whether we end up working together or not, I can't wait to connect.

Happy Halloween!

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE.

Are you stressed?

Estimated read time: 1.75 minutes

Focus (not stressed) Central!

Focus (not stressed) Central!

I've had a lot going on for the past couple of months - buying and remodeling a house, selling a house, a HUGE project for my business (which you will get to see soon), kids, laundry, marriage, board meetings, fundraising, life.

Does this look like some version of your life?

I've noticed as I'm moving through these various things that friends and strangers alike say things like:

You must be so stressed!

Overwhelmed yet?!

Wow - you must be barely keeping it together!

I'm willing to own that perhaps I look messy because I went to the store unshowered on the way home from carpool in the clothes I pulled off my floor. But honestly, I'm not at all stressed.

Focused, yes.

Stressed, no.

It seems like culturally, we are attached to the idea of being "busy" or "stressed" so much so that we project it all over the place, even in casual conversation, even when we have no idea if the person is actually stressed or not.

Here are some thoughts for you this week:

  • Pay attention to all the times someone casually assumes you must be stressed or overwhelmed and notice the impact it has on you (and them).
  • Become aware of the times you say it (I was surprised at how often "stressed' words came out of my mouth).
  • Then stop, laugh and say something more supportive - like, "Wow, that is so exciting!" "You must be so engaged!" "Are you thrilled?" "It must take a lot of focus."

Notice the shift that happens in you and others.

Let's see what we can do to shift from "stressed" and "busy" to "engaged" and "excited."

And that's what I've got this week. I hope it helps.

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE. P.P.S. I'd love to hear why you think we are so focused on being "busy" and "stressed." So, if you like to share your opinion, hit reply to this email and tell me what you think.

What to do when you feel overwhelmed

Estimated read time - an easy 2 minutes

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Spring break season is over. If you went away, you may be like me, overwhelmed with laundry and groceries and unpacking and work and getting back into your schedule and OMG!

If you stayed home, you may be mourning your free time and routine-less existence.

If you didn't get a break, you may be overloaded with work and activities and counting the days until your next vacation.

Do any of these sound familiar?

Overwhelm happens to all of us sometimes. And sometimes, overwhelm is a tricky little bugaboo that distracts you from actually doing THE THINGS.

A client emailed me yesterday about her overwhelm, and after I dashed off this response, I realized, this is great information for you (and me). Here you go.

Your “how to function” when you're overwhelmed plan. In order.

  1. Breathe.
  2. Breathe again.
  3. Make a list of all the things.
  4. Breathe.
  5. Figure out which ones someone else can do or you can outsource or delegate or skip or negotiate or push out. (Can someone else pick up your child - like a neighbor or friend? Are there things on the list you can skip or move to next week? Where can you ask for help?)
  6. It’s rare that we have to do all the things ourselves, right now.

    You can back out of things or skip them to honor your sanity and time with your family or yourself. You can. Really and truly. I've tried it. It works.

  7. Then break down all the things and decide which comes first, which second, etc.
  8. Breathe. Then keep breathing.
  9. Focus on one thing at a time. Overwhelm sets in when you look at the huge long list and the entire packed future. Allow yourself to do one thing at a time (make phone call, insert data into report, answer email for 15 minutes). Do one thing at a time. Sometimes I even talk to myself out loud, ("Ok, Christina. Make that phone call now") to keep myself from moving too fast into the future.
  10. Breathe.
  11. For the future, take a look at what you say yes to and where you might want to say no more often (volunteering) so you can put your focus where it is most important (family, work projects, exercise).

Move forward, one step at a time. Oh, and remember to breathe!

I hope this helps.

Christina