Practices That Change The World #2

Time to read: It's a long one. A little over a minute and worth every second (if I may say so myself). :-)

Look! Last week's image applies again! Notice the second rung from the bottom.

I truly believe the Gandhi quote, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Talking about and wishing for what you want out there can only be accomplished by creating those exact same things in here.

• If you want more peace then how to create peace in yourself and your relationships?
• If you want more understanding, how do you become someone who understands?
• If you want integrity, then you must be impeccable and seek repair when you, inevitably, are not (because you're human, after all).

Which brings me to Changing the World Practice #2.

Responsibility

This is not your parents' "you must pay your bills" kind of responsibility. Responsibility means owning your life. Owning that you have created it all - the good, the bad, the ugly. One trick for taking responsibility is to do it without self-criticism and judgment. It's not about blaming yourself or others when things are hard. Here's an example:

Let's say you sailed through college and launched yourself into a career that felt pretty good at first. Then 10-years in you start to feel dissatisfied. Maybe you're not getting the promotions you want. Maybe you dread going to work. Maybe it all feels overwhelming, and you wonder if you need to quit. You will not find your answer by blaming your boss or the terrible corporate culture or by complaining constantly to your friends or beating yourself up for wasting time. (I know cuz I did this for 2 years.)

The answer will come from getting curious about yourself - What motivated you? (Pleasing others? Striving for recognition?) Where did you bypass your inner wisdom? How do you betray yourself and your own needs? What do you actually want for you life? How do you build the courage to create it?

This is what real responsibility looks like.

Imagine a world where EVERYONE takes responsibility for themselves. Wow. I'd like to live there.

You're the best!

P.S. If you love this newsletter, your friends and colleagues will, too. Anyone can sign up here.

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Remove This Word And Change Your Life

Time to read: 1 minute, 15 seconds

I was talking with a client this week, and he said something like,"If I just control the information that goes out, things will go smoothly." Every time I hear this word I reply with, "let's make a tiiiiiny adjustment to one word."

The word is….

CONTROL

Boo. Hiss. Erase. Delete. Gone forever.

Control is an illusion. When you believe the illusion, control leads to inflexibility over possibility, outcome over process, reaction over responsibility, and separation over connection. Striving for control limits your view, feeds unhealthy competition, and is quite ineffective.

Instead of control, try one of these words: ownership, responsibility, influence, power.

Back to the example: What's different if you have ownership of the information that goes out? Or if you have influence over it? Ownership and influence give you power. They put you in the driver's seat. They recognize that you are responsible for your side of the fence and help you get clear about what's yours. Ownership and influence lift you from responsibility for what happens on the other side.

Deleting and replacing the word will help you, over time, delete and replace the energy of control and set you up to embrace the ease that brings.

Try it and then email me what happens!

I love to hear from you. Email me

Mermaids and leadership. Two great things that go great together!

It's a short one this week! 1 minute, tops!

A real life mermaid leader

Did you know there are professional mermaids? It's true. There are people who make a living being a mermaid. For reals.

Mermaids are leaders. They take responsibility for their worlds.(Recognize the theme from past couple of weeks?) It matters that they show up with their scaly tails on time and sit still in a pool for 2 hours delighting mesmerized children. They take responsibility for the joy they put into the world. They are leaders.

So, let's remember the core of the past two rebelicious newsletters:

Leaders take responsibility for their worlds.

It doesn't matter if you are a CEO, a stay-at-home mom, a manager, an administrative assistant. a student, or your mail carrier.

Leadership is not defined by your position, test. Leadership is defined by your perspective. It matters that you show up, do your best, and take responsibility for yourself and your world.

Let's look at a few examples:

Leaders decide what kind of energy they want to put into traffic.You have a choice to flip the bird to the person who just cut you off or to assume they are doing the best they can and smile in solidarity knowing that tomorrow, it could be you.

• Leaders clean up the messes they create and admit when they are wrong.
• Leaders treat cashiers, servers, and janitors kindly.
• Leaders know that they are not responsible for everything and everyone.
• Leaders build relationships and consider other people's needs. You have opportunities to lead every time you go to the grocery store, in every meeting, on every team you serve, and in every class you take.

What will you do this week to take responsibility for your world?

Lead on!

Christina

Stressed out at the idea of "taking responsibility?" Read this.

Estimated read time: 2 minutes

A real response from a bonafide reader!

It's been exciting this week to receive your responses to last week's question: What does "leaders take responsibility for their world" mean to you? (Look for YOUR response below).

You responded with many amazing and beautiful ways you take responsibility for the food we eat, your families, your work, the safety of our beauty products, and generating love and peace. It's humbling to see all the ways the group that receives this rebelicious newsletter is having an impact. I'm honored to be among you.

You work in IT, the finance industry, healthcare, regulatory affairs, coaching, and education (to name a few of your worlds). You have families, parents, pets, homes and communities. Each of you is taking responsibility in ways large and small "in the spirit of making a better universe" (and I quote one your brilliant comments).

Today is about the "responsibility" of leadership.

One of my clients was struggling (fretting would be a more accurate word) with the "responsibility" part of his leadership. He tends toward "over-responsibility" and "responsible for everything" which left him feeling pretty daunted by "Leaders take responsibility for their world."

I wouldn't be the corporate rebel coach if I didn't give you strategies and ways to process this for yourself. Here's what my client and I created together in our session in case you worry about over-giving, too (shared with his permission, of course).

1. Let go of the illusion that you can control everything. A need to control leads to over-giving, over responsibility, and burn out. Burn out ain't good for anyone's world.
2. Be responsible for the talents you've been given. As you saw in the list above, this amazing group has a wide-variety of talents. Do YOUR work. And let other people do their work (this is the part where you get to let go - guilt free - of many, many things).
3. Discern what's yours and choose where you put your time and energy. Trust that you are doing enough, that you are having an impact, and what you do every day matters.
4. Think about how to expand your "world" without succumbing to #1 or #2.

Pat yourself on the back. You're doing great things in your world. You really are.

Christina