3 Reasons to Clean Up Your Messes

Time to read: Less than one minute. Time to clean up your mess? Depends on the size.

Let's just say that the other day, I wasn't my best. I don't know why, but there's something about the vet that pokes my buttons. It's not the actual vet, it's the processes at the vet. It's weird because I'm usually so easy... but I digress. That's not the point.

I became irritated and the poor receptionist who was trying to help me took the brunt. It wasn't my finest hour, and my response was very human. We humans mess up. And when we do, we humans have a responsibility to clean it up.

There are three reasons to clean up your messes - big and small.

1. It's the right thing to do, especially when you've hurt someone. Cleaning up your messes matters for other people.
2. Lingering messes are sticky and the guilt / sadness / justification / defensiveness (choose your poison) sticks to you. Cleaning up your messes matters for you.
3. The energy you put into the world matters so let that energy be honest and true, even when it's hard. Cleaning up your messes matters to our world.

I called the receptionist and apologized. I was nervous. And the 2 minutes it took to take responsibility and be forgiven made all the difference for both of us.

What mess is sticking to you and what can you do today to clean it up?

Email me here if you'd like to consider offering the 90-Minute Return to the Office live event with me and Anne. It's the easiest path to avoiding conflict and messes that need to be cleaned up.

Blame Others? No, Not You....

Time to read: Less than one minute

More false emotions. Today is blame!

You know this one, especially how it feels when you are blamed.

Blame can be obvious - like when you blame the IT department for the slip in the deadline. Or blame can be more subtle - like blaming traffic when you're late for an appointment.

Regardless of how you slice it, blame creates tension and wastes energy in your workplace and home.

Blame is a false emotion. It is a handy mechanism you use to hide from responsibility. You are the author of your life. You create it all. (Yay ownership!) So, when you find yourself stuck blaming others (your mother, your boss, the government, the neighbor), do these things:

1. Ask yourself. What am I trying not to be responsible for? What am I trying to get away with?
2. Be brave. Responsibility takes courage. It's vulnerable to look deeper and find your ownership.
3. Take responsibility. This is the action step. What do you need to do to be transparent, honest with yourself and perhaps change a few things.

Here is an example:

You are late for an appointment because traffic was insane. You blame traffic for your lateness. Without any self-judgment or a blame pile-on (of yourself), look at the situation. Perhaps you were dragging your feet because you didn't want to go. Or maybe you let your overwhelm prevent you from properly planning the time it would take to get there. Places to consider taking responsibility: Perhaps you said yes to something when you wanted to say no. Perhaps you have let your schedule get away from you. What can you do to take responsibility for those things? What can you change?

(In fact, this example is happening to me right now. I put off writing this newsletter until this morning. I have a tea date with a friend and I'm going to be late. My responsibility? I'm making a choice to do this newsletter at the expense of being on time. I will be honest with her about what happened and apologize. I'll vow to stick with my goal in the future to write my newsletter by Tuesday night. See how this works?)

Next week: self-pity.

Remember: Getting honest with yourself about the shield of false emotions will free your time and energy for better relationships and more productivity! It's worth the effort to build your awareness and take ownership.

You've got this!

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Know someone who loves to blame? Oh yes. This is a popular one. Forward this newsletter them. They can sign up to join us here.

P.P.S. January and February are the perfect time to review 2019 and plan for 2020. Reach out if you'd like to explore an intentional plan for 2020.