Waiting

Time to read: 30 seconds and change.

Waiting for Godot

Waiting for Godot

In your fast paced, action-oriented life, what is your relationship to waiting?

Consider these situations:

  • You feel like you are not appreciated and are being passed over for promotion.
  • A director you know walked by you in the hall and didn't acknowledge you.
  • You received your performance appraisal and there was some "feedback" that was hard to hear.

You say something you wish you hadn't said in a meeting. In situations like this, the temptation to do something is powerful. When you feel uncomfortable and confused, the desire to fix it, smooth it over, and make yourself comfortable again is a strong driver. In order to restore equilibrium, you might do any of the following: worry, talk to 10 friends about it, call your mom, talk to the person involved, or take a firm stand for what you want.

What would it be like to wait? What happens if you do nothing? What if your only action is to breathe and be still with it?

When you drop the urge to rush to create comfort and sit in your discomfort, my intuition says powerful things will happen for you.

Give waiting a try this week. Then write and tell me all about it.

I'm experimenting with waiting this week, too.

I'm curious to hear what happens.

With rebel love,

Christina

 

2 Secrets to Boost Your Success in Conflict

Estimated read time: 2 minutes.

Avoid conflict! Get both! (Ignore my messy bed.)

Avoid conflict! Get both! (Ignore my messy bed.)

I hear from my clients that conflict makes their stomachs hurt or makes them want to pretend they never saw it in the first place.

Conflict? What conflict? Did you see conflict around here?

Among many weird things about me, one is that I LOVE conflict (so much so that I used to volunteer as a mediator in small claims court).

Are you on the LOVE it or HATE it end of conflict?

Here's some reasons I love conflict: There's creativity in conflict. There's heat. Conflict leads to cleared air, closer relationships, and more trust. Even if conflict causes separation, there's clarity in the dissolution. You're clear as you walk away and not stuck for years making up stories about what happened.

All this only works if conflict gets handled openly and strategically. Avoiding conflict isn't going to lead to more trust even though through your closed eyes and earnest prayers, you wish it would.

Here are two, actually, it ended up being three, easy to implement strategies to help turn conflict into something that works for you:

  1. Shift your mindset about conflict. Start to see the creative power in disagreement. See the opportunities for ideas to get bigger and for you to learn about yourself.
  2. Prioritize your relationships. When your relationships are on solid ground, they can withstand conflict. Even big conflict.
  3. Find your places of alignment. Every fiber of your being in conflict wants to focus on the disagreement and on being right. (Notice the word is alignment, not agreement). Here's a light-hearted example to illustrate the point:

Say that you want to get a cat and your family wants to get a dog. Very quickly, you can end up in your respective corners taking a stand for CAT! DOG! Instead, experiment with finding where you share alignment - like having a family pet, wanting something to snuggle, maybe having a pet that feels easy to your family. From there it's easier to navigate toward a mutually acceptable solution.

Conflict is creative. Really and truly. Give these tips a try and let me know what happens!

I hope this helps.

Christina

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