When You're Uncomfortable, Do This….

Time to read: 36 little seconds

Kids off to college!

My clients are changing careers, managing large teams through murky corporate restructuring, contemplating retirement, supporting their own businesses, and starting new jobs. People are approaching weddings, family drama, and children leaving home for college. As you've probably heard and felt yourself, it's a lot.

What do all these things have in common? They make you uncomfortable.

Most of these changes are good things… eventually. The road to get there is paved with uncertainty which can lead to fear, powerlessness, and the urge to do something.

Doing something to stave off discomfort leads to these kinds of choices:

  • over-performing
  • drinking
  • drama and conflict
  • avoiding
  • denial

Let's just say, these aren't the most effective choices and each one carries its own undesirable consequences. You have another option when you feel uncomfortable.

Stay

This doesn't mean stick around in a bad situation. Stay means remain alert, keep going, pay attention, know you can live with your discomfort, and trust yourself to know when it's time to act.

Just stay

It's simple. Easy. Costs nothing.

Do you have a friend or colleague who is trying to live in a blender of change? Please forward this blog to them. They can sign up for it here.

 

#1 Mistake When Making a Change

Time to read: 47 seconds.

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There’s a lot of movement these days. Clients getting promoted. People changing companies. Relocations. New jobs. New apartments. When you make a change, you move from one thing to another (duh).

In change, I see people make the same mistake over and over.

You move on too quickly.

In your haste and excitement to get to The New Thing, you forget to close The Old Thing.

The consequences are The Old Thing becomes sticky. It follows you. It clogs your energy. Think of people you hear still complaining about a job, apartment, or relationship they left years ago. Think of a job or relationship that you can’t seem to shake. That’s what sticky looks like.

Leave The Old Thing behind by doing these two simple things:

  • Don’t leave before you’re gone. You mentally leave before you are actually gone. Stay present until you actually leave so you can enjoy your final days or feel your sad feelings.
  • End well. Say good-bye to the people. Walk around the empty apartment. Share memories. Write notes. Say farewell to your cube. Mark the end with a short ritual or acknowledgement. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Do be conscious that “this moment is the end.”

When you allow yourself a good ending, you become more open and ready for the new beginning.

Enjoy your New Thing! (And write to tell me all about it. I love your stories.)