Live By Your Preferences

Time to read: Less than a minute

In your life, you have needs: food, shelter, financial resources, companionship. Much of your daily life is driven by those needs.

Then, many of you have obligations, things you feel you must do, even if you don't want to. I've talked in the past about eliminating as many obligations as possible. Filling your days with obligations is a recipe for dissatisfaction and dis-ease.

Here's where things get exciting. What if you could live more of your life according to your preferences? Preferences are just that - things you like, things that draw your attention, things that bring you joy. For example: it is my preference to wear chartreuse.

In fact, I will choose chartreuse for just about everything. (See photo of the plants around my pond.) Will my world stop turning without chartreuse? No. Will my children starve if I don't have chartreuse? No. I just like it better than any other color. It's a preference and filling the world with something I like brings joy to my existence.

If you enjoy spending time alone, engage your preference and spend time alone. If you prefer jazz, listen to jazz. If you prefer restful evenings in front of the TV, watch TV. If you prefer blood-pumping excitement, ride roller coasters.

When you live according to your preferences, you are freer, happier, and more fulfilled.

Summer is great time to experiment with your preferences. Have fun!

Share this newsletter with anyone who needs more fun and joy! Anyone can sign up here.

You Don't Need "Pandemic Permission"

Time to read: 1.36 minutes

During a recent group workshop, a leader worried about all the things she'll feel obligated to do as things open up. She observed, "the pandemic gave me a good excuse to say no to lots of things."

Try on a few examples:

• You could say no to online cocktails with that group of friends, because you were "all Zoomed out."
• You could decide not to attend the expensive and far-away family vacation you don't enjoy much anyway because you're "not ready to travel yet."
• You could skip the online after hours work happy hour, because your kids "need help with online school."
• You could have a holiday with just your family because "it didn't feel safe yet" to host other people.

Of course, safety and exhaustion were real. And, if you make an honest assessment, you made time for the people and activities you care about the most. You just didn't make space for all the people and activities you did pre-pandemic.

Here's the truth: You don't need the cover of the pandemic to say no to those friends or that vacation or after hours happy hour. You can simply say no.

I recommended to the leader that she consider giving up obligation as a pandemic gift to herself.

Of course, you sometimes have to visit people you don't want to visit and do things you don't want to do. Instead of dragging yourself through those things with resentment and resistance, anchor yourself to your values (like love, connection, family) and keep those in mind as you delight in coffee with a boring relative.

And, be honest with yourself. If you avoided it or them during the pandemic and those activities and relationships don't nourish you now, let them go.

Drop obligation. Obligation is sooo 2019.

Making decisions about how to smoothly and effectively return to life and work is daunting. Make the process easier by downloading your free copy of The Corporate Rebel's Playbook for Returning to Life (and Work).

I hope this helps.