Holiday Toolkit #2: 3 Ways To Lose The Martyr And Have More Fun!

Time to read:

When you feel like all the work is on your shoulders and your to-do list is 5 pages long, perhaps you are being a martyr. If you feel resentful about any aspect of your holiday (Why is everyone always at my house? Why am I in the kitchen when everyone else is watching football?), you are definitely being a martyr.

Ouch. That word can be hard to absorb. (I don't know anyone who ever feels like a martyr. Nope. No one around here.)

There's good news, though!

When you see yourself sacrificing your own peace and joy for the sake of performing, looking good, proving something, or maintaining control, you have taken the first step toward changing it.

Here are 3 ways to drop the martyr and have more fun this holiday.

  • Ask for help. Ask other people to step in and take over some of the plans. This, of course, means....
  • Relinquish control. Let other people contribute in their own ways, even if that's messy or not the way you'd do it. There is no rule about a "perfect" holiday. What people remember is the connection and fun so release the pressure on yourself and let some balls drop if necessary.
  • Martyr is the wounded aspect of the Magician. So, when you feel like a martyr, where can you instead lean into what's magic about you? Maybe you hate cooking and love setting a beautiful table. Let other people cook and lean into your love of beauty. If no one wants to decorate the tree with you, instead of pressuring people (martyr), put on some music and enjoy your beautiful tree (magician).

The minute you feel even a whiff of resentment, ask yourself what you need to do for yourself (not what can you demand from others) to bring yourself back into alignment with YOU. It may involve redesigning the way you do your holidays so you have more fun. And guess what, when you have more fun, so will those around you!

Here's to ease in your holidays!

 

Your Holiday Toolkit #1.5: Forgive Yourself

Time to read: 31 seconds

Christmas in Pokhara, Nepal

I'm laughing out loud. I wrote all my holiday newsletters and pre-scheduled them since I am traveling and working and taking time off in December. I scheduled two of them for the same day last week so you got a double dose of Corporate Rebel.

That means you get a bonus tool for the holidays so here is #1.5: Forgive when things aren't perfect.

See how I turned my mistake into a lesson?

So many things go wrong during the holidays…the pie gets dropped on the ground, gifts are the wrong size, family gets sick, people are annoying, __________ (fill in the blank on the thousands of things that can go wrong).

Do this when you make a mistake:

  • Have a good laugh at yourself.
  • Use your mistake to build your humility.
  • Use your mistake as a way to have grace for other people's mistakes.
  • Move forward.

Things don't always turn out as you expect. And sometimes, the mistake leads to something even better. (Like a bonus holiday tool and a dose of humility!)

Here's to your learning (and mine)!

 

Your Holiday Toolkit #1: Make Things Easier!

Time to read: 58 seconds

For the next few newsletters, as the holidays approach like a speeding train, I am going to give you one tool a week designed to make your holiday easier, smoother, and more joyful.

Tool #1 Simplify

You are probably already gift shopping, menu planning, and either traveling or expecting guests. You might have office parties, friend gatherings, and time with family. The sheer volume of activity can be overwhelming, even if you love the holidays. If you have a family conflict or aren't a big fan of the holidays, the stress can be huge.

My strong recommendation: Simplify

Pick one aspect of the holidays that means a lot to you and simplify everything else. For me, I love the food. Planning, shopping, preparing and eating. However, I wrap gifts in newspapers and reusable cloth bags. I don't bother with fancy packaging.

If you have many priorities, how can you do less of each one? Maybe make 3 kinds of cookies instead of 10. Serve cheese instead of homemade snacks. Organize a potluck rather than do all the cooking yourself.

I've already heard many clients and friends say, "How am I going to get everything done before the holidays?" Look for every place you can simplify so you have more time for yourself and those you love.

Next week, I'll share how to know if you're doing too much and what else you can do about that.

Ho! Ho! Ho!