What Your Quick No May Be Costing You

Today I want to talk about saying no and make the case for why you shouldn't.

I know. I know. I have preached that a good, clear no will protect your time and keep your priorities in order. And...

Sometimes a quick "no" costs you opportunities.

See if you share this fear with me:

I fear my life and time will be completely overwhelmed (which has happened a few times). I've learned to manage this potentiality with a swift and easy "no." I've realized recently that I may be throwing that no around like a bull in a china shop, resulting in broken opportunities and shards of potential on the floor. (Enough of that metaphor.)

Here are two recent examples where my fast no almost cost me an amazing opportunity.

1. A dear friend from college is retiring from a muckity-muck chief of everyone job with the US Navy. He emailed me a "save the date" for his blow out party in Washington DC . I emailed him an immediate no, thinking that with kids back in school and the pace of fall, I can't be flying to DC for the weekend. When I mentioned the party to my husband he was, like, "Why not? You should go. It would be fun." He was right.

2. My family and I were invited to a childhood friend's daughter's wedding in Kenya. (Did I mention I used to live in Kenya? See the photo of Lamu, Kenya above for a little taste.) I immediately responded no because tickets are expensive, and we'd have to take our children out of school. At dinner that night, I told my family about the engagement and the "impossible" invitation. All three of them got excited and pulled me immediately from the realm of "impossible" to "likely." My husband? Right again.

What's the message here?

1. Listen to my husband.
    
2. Spend a few more than 2 seconds evaluating an opportunity before you say no. If you're invited to chair that time consuming committee for an organization you don't care about, a swift and decisive no may be just the ticket. A friend's wedding? The trip of a lifetime? Give it more time.
    
3. Consider your values. Yes, I value balance. I also value adventure, life experiences, and my relationships. Be conscious about which value you are honoring or dishonoring with each choice.
    
4. Consider if your no is coming from fear or from a true desire to manage your time and honor what's important to you. Choose based on what's important to you, not fear.

What "no" are you going to revisit as a result of today's content? Pop on over the the Corporate Rebel HQ Facebook community to tell us all about it. Click here to comment or join!

With Rebel Love,
 
Christina

P.S. The conversation is happening in the Corporate Rebel HQ Facebook community. Click here to comment on today's content, ask questions, and join the rebel conversation. 

P.P.S If something you read today made you think of a friend or colleague, please share it by forwarding this email to them. They can sign up to receive it right here.

What to do when what you really want is a nap.

Estimated read time: 2 minutes.

Here's one of my favorite images from the interviews. This one will be live in July. Don't we look like we're having fun?!

We've established that I have busted my butt for the last three months producing the amazing Corporate Rebel Series.

What I really wanted this afternoon was a nap. I didn't have it in me to do one more thing.

What I needed to do was conduct another interview and write this newsletter. To say that I didn't feel like it would be an understatement.

This got me thinking about you and all the times you don't feel like (fill in the blank).

Another story: When I was in a leadership program a few years ago we had to do all these terrifying things high in the trees, where we could, like, fall and die.

One of them was this balance beam that felt like it was 6 stories tall. We had to get from one tree to the other by walking the balance beam. As I was scooching across, legs shaking, stomach hurting, doing everything I could not to look at the ground (oh so far down there), our leader yelled out, "This is what commitment looks like!" My first thought was, "Nah. I'm a mess." Then I got it. That moment has stuck with me ever since.

Commitment is not pretty. It's not certainty. Commitment does not require you to feellike it. Commitment requires you to show up even when you don't feel like it.

Commitment requires you to focus on your purpose, your bigger reason for being. For me that means remembering the people in offices who are wondering if they are crazy... who crave the freedom to be themselves while still succeeding at work.

So I put on my mascara, conducted an awesome interview with an expert on executive presence and sat down to write this newsletter. This work matters. Yourwork matters. Let the mattering carry you forward even when you don't feel like it.

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE.

What To Do When What You Want Seems Crazy

My son came home from gym class the other day and announced he wants to play hockey. For the first time. In Minnesota. At the age of ten.
 
Minnesota is state where winter is long and dads are fitting their kids with helmets and pulling them on tiny skates before they can walk.
 
My son doesn’t skate.
 
Here is what I was thinking. “There is no way you can start hockey at the age of ten in Minnesota. You’ll be killed, and the leagues will tell you that you are washed up before you get on the ice.”
 
Here’s what I said, “Let me see what I can find out, honey.”
 
To make a short story of how our family’s life went down the hockey rabbit hole, my son is on a hockey team in a great league that is going to teach him to skate. Every morning this week, before his eyes were barely open he’d say, “3 days till my first hockey practice!” He was planning how he will learn to skate, trying on his equipment, and hitting a ball around the backyard with his new stick.
 
Here’s the point: My son believes he can learn to play hockey. So he will.
 
OK, all you cynics out there who are thinking, “Yeah great, that’s a story about a young kid doing something fun. This can’t apply to adults or to work.”
 
Keep reading. 
 
This story (told with permission) shows how belief does have to do with adults and work.
 
One of my friends, who is a rebel if ever there was one, sent me this response to a recent newsletter. Wait until you see what she does for a living!
 
“When I tell people that I take people all over the world to do flower arranging, they say,  'what?' 'sputter?' 'how?'  'Um, I had an idea. I wanted to go to a castle in France and pick flowers and show people how to arrange flowers and guess what?  People wanted to come.' Or that I teach Encaustic painting at art centers up and down the east coast (I needed to look that one up and you can, too, right here).  'How did you get that job?' they ask. 'I called them and asked if they wanted an Encaustic instructor.' It is a great, great world we live in. Truly." (Check out Ginnie Peterson’s business, Crocus Hill Studio).
 
Like my son, Ginnie didn’t spend time analyzing all the reasons her idea couldn’t work. She just believed it could and took action.
 
Life is not perfect. Failure is always part of the journey. And, your beliefs are a huge driver in the results you get.
 
This wouldn’t be the rebelicious newsletter if I didn’t have tips for you. Here you go, strategies for putting belief into action through the metaphor of hockey.
 
1. Find the right league. Have humility to know what you don’t know. And don’t let what you don’t know stop you for one second. Find the right coaches, mentors, and fit for what you want. 
 
2. Get on the ice. You won't learn a darn thing if you don't skate (and fall on your butt a million times).
 
3. Don’t listen to the people around you who say you can’t or you shouldn’t or you’re crazy – even if that person is YOU!
 
4. Set realistic goals and give yourself credit for every bit of progress. Maybe all you will do this practice is stand without falling. Next time, you'll skate to the other side of the arena without falling down. 

I have to go deliver the forgotten water bottle to my son on the ice so I’ll sign off here. Hit reply and tell me a story about how belief combined with action led to your success.
 
Get on that ice!

Christina